ho zhiting's birthday :3

Chocolate Quinoa Cake my pride and joy

too amazed that it actually looks legit and not like a floppy mush of quinoa grains and eggs.

the girls were so excited to try it

me: so are you guys quinoa converts now

they: just put all the quinoa in cake i'd never eat it alone

we had a party

we had a picnic

more specifically, we had a picnic party right in our apartment, in the corridor!!! too fun. we threw down some towels and i cut a happy birthday banner/ cafe-ish looking decoration and the menu was

• cauliflower rice
• scrambled eggs, smoked salmon and english spinach
• roast chicken from the supermarket
• beer-battered firm tofu
• garlic mashed potatoes

loveliness :-)))))))

i believe we are at the peak of domestication right now

:-))))))))

sometimes you just need this

/fraaaaaidei/

friday nights are golden because they consist of a homecooked dinner, friday movies on channel 99 and some housies who have no friday night plans (twas just stac and i last night hurhur)

wanted to watch bad neighbours but ended up missing the time bc i shopped a lil at coles and woolworths for pancake ingredients. srsly pancakes....... nothing ever goes wrong in your day when you have em

it was funny bc i was online lecturing for psych and cummings our lecturer said how certain people let their projection of their inner thoughts become their reality and other noteworthy points. and to me it was just a lil shocking bc ive been trying to figure myself out this whole time and a single psych lecture could basically sum up my adolescent years' of emotions. the beauty of psych, really. 

just taking baby steps of progression now, and a little over a mth more til b+j comes = end of exams!!!/ sem1 end :")

bethea is always particularly excited about this tho!! she gets me hyped up sometimes about what i'll go home to. yet i'm just thinking of what foods to bring home so that i can blend things and make my family chocolate oatmeal/ pancakes for breakfast

having nightmarish things about my getting lost yesterday. i ran from royal prince alfred hospital and i thought i would reach the familiar street of broadway but it turned out i had ran through this route along pyrmont and it took me to a quiet estate with lots of slopes and dead ends, and schools that didn't even seem functional because it was all so quiet... i even went past a meat factory which seemed very unlike the city and its hypermarkets and cafés and humans scattered everywhere. i told myself to focus on running in the direction of the westfield tower and so i did. after an hour or so of running, i was so glad i finally reached that familiar stretch that would lead me home. could have cried like a kid lost in the shopping centre throughout the process, but didn't. snapchatted instead hurhur and my mom was all dont run alone again. couldev used google maps, but didnt. 

told stacy about this then she laughed at me and told me i shouldve reversed my route and ya that seems like a sensible thing to do for desperate times. and according to her (since she goes to the hospital for her arm treatments) i started out in the wrong direction in the first place!!! madness 

but i came home and made sweet potato patties and it turned out to be a good day

today is another day of no-school and im thinking of running the route towards my ellie goulding concert stadium (hordern pavillion, it's called). need lots of extra planning and visualizing and google mapping first tho heh

but thanking god because

• i ran for 1.5 hrs while getting lost ytd instead of the (lulz) 0.5h i had intended.....

• my phone didnt die so i always had the option of calling my housemates if ever i needed sos 

pancake power (i have eggs now)

in case you havent tried, you should!!! most amazing thing ever really •💖•

sloppy cakes image_1

sloppy cakes with fork image_2

yummzerz image_3: these are blogilates-inspired 2-ingredient pancakes! i added a dash of cinnamon to it and also some cacao nibs, hence the black seed like things inside. bought them nibs from the food co-op at a discount so i put them in everything 

bought half a dozen eggs recently, because this week is a chill week and i had the sudden urge to make pancakes with almond milk! no regrets having these lovelies. ya i had 7 pancakes and suffered a major uncomfortable bloat ever haaaaah so um lesson learnt. but i'd do it all over again rly.

next week i want to make earl grey flavoured pancakes (& also get some productive studying done pls pls pls get a hold of yourself dude)

big girls have breakfasts in their rooms

*har har har har*

image_4 getting increasingly full as i view these pictures...... it is actually a trick of the eye, how these pancakes look so nicely shaped- they shaped themselves!! it must be the buckwheat flour 

berry compote didnt really work out well today bc too much water~ but lovely softened berries are my thing!!

7am /penkeik pefektshun/

first time making a successful batch of happy cakes!!!

left some for the duds of the haus to try and got this picture:

zhiying is a crazy girl who imitates birds very well. even the pecking actions and we did it once on the train platform it was great fun *har har har har* 🆗 

today stacy n bethea went out for brunch at newtown this awesome street of cafes and THEY BOJIOED which was funny, like all spontaneous decisions

thurs felt like a weekend already so we had ramen and exercised which was the most intense, honestly, i had since singapore. we did blogilates on the living room/ kitchen floor i think my hair was a broom that day sigh mysterious food particles 

doing twenty y/o stuffs with these girls and having heart to hearts are what gives me joy, here! and frighteningly, these h2hs include things i wouldnt normally talk about in singapore to... anyone... just because it seems very grown-upish. (adamant about shunning my adult responsibilities

PSYCHOTICISM: not being bound by social rules. tbh i run away from social rules all the time, or try to. 

charmaine's birthday today,

i can still rmb mardi gras when we hung out at bedok princess macs after and talked about things until my dad called and said it was late 

and i am also rly touched she gave me my purple smiggle cover, which had cupcakes on them for my birthday even though we hadn't really known each other much then. i think it's a beautiful action to give and i would want to embody that more. 

YAR i dont really hang w juniors much but the tennis girls are major anomalies?!?!?! bc those girls im actually *close* too. im thankful how 2012 has brought me n sin + them together. cheryl is planning to come over to aussie and ketrisha is on her way to be an mohh scholar :") our paths will once again cross and that's comforting!

breathe

writing about depression in my second essay ; according to the cognitive theory, your negative core beliefs will shape your perception of the world and only let you subconsciously pay attention to any evidence in this world that is in line with what youre negatively thinking, even if it may contradict reality where there is a positive outcome. this is why i love to learn psychology + cognitive factors even though it might be a pain in the buttcheeks. it is very relevant to my perception of life esp since thinking is one of the more prominent features in mine//

 i think all through my teenage life, ive been grappling to come to terms with myself. being overthinkers/ just being sad was glamourized because it showed maturity and knowledge of things. but ive crossed the line too many times and started to internalize sadness as one of my core beliefs. i actually believed that people's destiny not themselves, let good things happen to them. eg because they are pretty/ skinny, they are charismatic so their lives will be great. i belittled my life and everything great around me. what was great for me in reality didnt turn out like that for me in my mind. i was never really content with what i had, and really, i based my happiness on the happiness of others through social media.

i wish i could tell my old self not to do that. negative thoughts are so internally destructive, they turn people into tired wrinkly old raisins because they get so worried about things. it was only when i came here and hypothetically got a chance to clear my head and see my life in singapore in a birds' eye view that i finally realized, after 6 years, that it is your internal self that shapes your life's events :") if you want something, you do it. if you want to achieve something, set goals and give yourself positive reinforcements from time to time to better motivate yourself. if you want something changed, dont feel as if your opinions are second-best. voice it and stop accumulating that negative emotion inside you that hasnt a way to escape out of you. stop comparing your life to the life of others and properly start living with what you have, to the best of your ability. if you dont love yourself then there wont be anyone else to love you for you. 

surfing the mid semester wave

to my lovely cupcakes having their finals: go all out for your last exam, you are stronger than you think.

i dig this daylight savings time thing. now the sun comes up at 6ish and the evening hues form in the sky at around 5pm. everything's being early and i'm loving it ^-^ this means feeling like i've more time for sleeping

decided to blog-jot today because there's a few fun things that happened;

1. my mom set up her snapchat account and the quality of the snaps are on par w a seasoned snapchatter (starting w a tortured pic of dad and his level 4 mcspicy- what)
2. went to teh easter show!!!!! the sydney easter show was gorgeous. it had carnival rides and some of them were no joke. zhiting and zhiying forked out 30$ for an ultimate bungee experience and we sat something worse than i sat in at ocean park- it was those 360deg turn things like a windmill but shaky um yaaaa that bloaty tummy feels...... i got immersed in the craze for showbags- priced goodie bags selling many items in a single theme like spongebob, my little pony, warheads, m&ms, tim tams, magic tricks, hello kitty and i paid 20$ for a girlfriend magazine show bag which is actually a gym bag with 3 magazines, 1 pack of instant noodles, pads, dry shampoo and vouchers. then i bought carnival food and watched a horse rodeo where NSW and QLD were competing to see which team could hold on to their horses (lulzies) the longest, or smth. the easter show is totally worth going to just to soak in the easter holiday atmosphere (and enjoy the rides and the ~overpriced~ carnival games)
3. on tuesday or smth some of the speechies (aussie born chineses) were really sweet and planned for us a trip to the beautiful watsons bay! there boasted amazing fish n chips and pretty views overlooking cliffs. we walked further, did some 'falling off the cliff'' poses and reached our ultimate goal of enjoying the lighthouse and sprawling green fields. zhiying and i licked the lighthouse yes yes yes our dna is on its walls!!!!i guess we were overly excited. it tasted like nothing at all. just a tasteless hard solid thing.
4. melbourne was the next day. madness bc the weather made it really hard to stay awake to pack for the trip and the 630 wake up time didn't really help but...... we did it and the difficult bits didn't matter at all because the good experiences lingers more strongly!! all i know is that i want to go back again as quoting weiling "have cake and coffee from every hole in the wall cafe + a nice book to read". roomed with zhiting and zhiying my housie cousin girls and we spent every night laughing and they lent me their toothpaste and shamps so i'm really grateful. i brought one huge luggage there, and came back to sydney with a smaller laundry bag. intentionally.- i didn't know my luggage couldn't go into the cabin so i had to pay 75$ for check-in!!!! i was sad $-$ so my mom said i could discard it. i did. i left it in our accommodation on the last day. luckily i brought along my big cheapo bangkok style bag (the kind cheapos use to lug their loots back from bkk or hk) so i stuffed my things there instead. i also brought my weight (1.5kg) along for the trip and there was intense judging for that but srsly i wouldn't have not brought it if i ever had the chance!!!!!1 i um managed to do some lifts at night @ the accomodation and let zy try them too. she said it was really effective to tone your arms v#^-^#v not before laughing for 5 minutes straight at nothing idek........ zt + i also bought 1 kg of nuts from the sydney market paddy's for the trip and IT WAS REALLY GOOD i influenced the rest of the girls to get hooked on nuts. me and zhiting were full-time tourists and part-time nut hawkers rly. lavz it!!!!1
5. the first few days of school were....... bearable. today is the mid-week of the mid-term!! whoohoo it sounds really good. so much has happened and i really hanker for the heat and humidity of singapore, and the absence of familiarity is what scares me the most. but i don't try to let it get to me bc i'm here for a reason and it's an important-enough reason for me to forget the melancholy. i guess that's just how we all are coping right now??? but sydney ain't half bad once i got used to it. 
6. in the initial stages of not knowing anyone in this apartment, i was apprehensive we'd all fall out from having domesticated quarrels but....... it's actually turned out to be the opposite because now they make the best company to be with, in this mad crazy place. morning train rides are the best because we're always loud, noisy and annoying in the cabin laughing about punny things (ur welcome hawhaw haw hawh aw ha w) or peiying's impersonations or bethea's very short attention span or stacy's sassy take on life + sometimes we go crazy over the same things (online shop sales, sales in general, cheap things in general etc) then come out w snapchats all. oh yea i also cannot remember a time we didn't make a comment about the weather. some girls say they put their hands out of the window to guesstimate the coldness / iphone weather app it. the density of their clothes are a good indication of their weather predictions

i have this one more essay to do and i got to push through with it!!!! it's a psych one about depression.
ok nothing else for now. /swit swit drimz gais/