//

hi friend.
really, now???

this.

all i really need now is an excerpt from a not-so-mainstream song and this can sum up my post.

icks tumblr is lousy i can't work it the only thing good of it is that i discovered some quite good sites there.

happy easter!

re:

hahahaha, omg stupz much, can't believe my past post designed for 3/4 actually popped out. time flies. i never thought i would actually see that post so soon. so much have passed.

thoughts

////edit.
i deleted everything and made a private tumblr.
#mylife #mylife.

decided to come up with a whole new resolve to focus on what i love. it's clear to me, the things that matter more to me. why couldn't i see this before.

proud of my team. ketrisha played the most wonderful game. she led, fell back a bit and when you thought every ounce of energy has been drained out of her, she fought back with such amazing inner strength and perseverance. i couldn't be more proud as a captain <for a while more>.

hello, future self.

i appreciate hugs. :'-)

loving the instax, can't wait til lyn uploads it!!!!

sleepy, can't think of anything blog-worthy so i think imma log. out.
thanks to everyone who has made this year what it has been for me. i appreciate every little bitty thing and i appreciate everyone who comes here haha. there isn't much here because i'm finally living in the period where academics dominate all other things. bright future, whatever it is.
to anyone who needs it; it's not the end. of course it's not. teachers will say that we gotta study for the a level and that is nothing wrong, just. there must be something more than merely the a level curricular. why don't they focus more on the enjoyment of something??? rote-learning is so alarmingly prevalent right now, we live and breathe it yet we've already adapted to it. surely the future generation is capable of something more. why can't we enjoy what we are doing. even now, there is no time to appreciate the beauty of subjects just because we have to ferociously chew up the syllabus and assimilating it. and whenever necessary, to 'regurgitate'. but seriously, are we just learning answer techniques and building up content to fill up the spaces?

if only post-secondary education didn't make people ever so miserable.
2nd round of OP done. i'm quite relieved, but still, so much room for improvement. and chinese; i really pray for you.
abi is so cute, i can't forget what comment she wrote on the suggestions sheet for us:
your road safety song is so cute, i want to bring my organ next time and sing along with you!

i eagerly wait for your arrival, mid-november.
sincerely, rebecca in mid-october. (14th)

pre-nats 1.1

suck it up rebecca suck it up stop letting stupid stuff get to you and infect the mood and who you are. hate this hate this hate this. hate social etiquette and the constant need to stay within the social sanity limit. hate getting involved with stuff that doesn't concern me. urghhhhhhhaghhhthghriojoqg okay calming the fork down. ___

boy, the lord has a way to humor life. all the setbacks...

my day was brightened up by them amusing kids hazel, lok, zk, phone tapping and sending guailan messages like free texts. (literally) thank you, if you see this. first soccer girls match today. our time will be soon. take care everyone take care team you guys must pull through.

good luck (pre-nat'ls)

motto for everything forever.

hopefully tomorrow will be a good day for everyone. hopefully we'll finally be realizing that the hypothetical end is near (i love the team because they're more than i ever wanted and i feel like we're friends without being ever so formal and that's good. all in favour of the upcoming season. the jersey's done and the skirts are in and everything is transiently blissful. ever so relieved.)

of course then there are the other things at the back of the mind that are deemed insignificant but are always a bitch and seem to get at me quite often when i'm alone with my thoughts, and sometimes my bed. but meh. all for the season. i can only try to conjure up positive thoughts and have no other expectations except playing a good game, but i'm not so sure. anyway it's quite funny how me and abi aren't really talking to each other because we are on different teams, like i feel quite awkward if i ask her about the state of her team, and her if she asks about mine. we are so formal, it irks me!!!! but i only have good wishes for her, i think things at cedar were rosier, idk. i definitely have no regrets for where i am now. and on the same token, the soccer girls' first match tomorrow and idk why i feel it's significant. they all worked hard. it's the freaking season. it's here. the reason we played for so many months, and our last moment of glory in honour of the school and everyone who fought for us, actually. and sports is amazing in this way, just because it's so universal and everyone can say "i feel you, bro" to every other person. sigh. i just need to hold my breath and not think about anything else but the team and press on until the end.

oh, and the reason. i feel relieved. like all the crying was not in vain. praise god for the prayers answered. things are finally looking up and my heart has been relieved of its numbing burden. finally visited mum today and i had all these bad dreams. but screw that, things are okay. enough to worry. it is and will hopefully all be a bad memory when i think of it in the distant future. and b's been a great help she really has. gaah. okay this post is worth remembering. despite all the other shortcomings, this day is actually meaningfully a happy one.

"age is not an option but maturity is a choice."

IS IT JUST ME OR DOES THIS PICTURE DESERVE SO. MUCH. WIN.??? i'm saving this for future generations, period.