good luck (pre-nat'ls)

motto for everything forever.

hopefully tomorrow will be a good day for everyone. hopefully we'll finally be realizing that the hypothetical end is near (i love the team because they're more than i ever wanted and i feel like we're friends without being ever so formal and that's good. all in favour of the upcoming season. the jersey's done and the skirts are in and everything is transiently blissful. ever so relieved.)

of course then there are the other things at the back of the mind that are deemed insignificant but are always a bitch and seem to get at me quite often when i'm alone with my thoughts, and sometimes my bed. but meh. all for the season. i can only try to conjure up positive thoughts and have no other expectations except playing a good game, but i'm not so sure. anyway it's quite funny how me and abi aren't really talking to each other because we are on different teams, like i feel quite awkward if i ask her about the state of her team, and her if she asks about mine. we are so formal, it irks me!!!! but i only have good wishes for her, i think things at cedar were rosier, idk. i definitely have no regrets for where i am now. and on the same token, the soccer girls' first match tomorrow and idk why i feel it's significant. they all worked hard. it's the freaking season. it's here. the reason we played for so many months, and our last moment of glory in honour of the school and everyone who fought for us, actually. and sports is amazing in this way, just because it's so universal and everyone can say "i feel you, bro" to every other person. sigh. i just need to hold my breath and not think about anything else but the team and press on until the end.

oh, and the reason. i feel relieved. like all the crying was not in vain. praise god for the prayers answered. things are finally looking up and my heart has been relieved of its numbing burden. finally visited mum today and i had all these bad dreams. but screw that, things are okay. enough to worry. it is and will hopefully all be a bad memory when i think of it in the distant future. and b's been a great help she really has. gaah. okay this post is worth remembering. despite all the other shortcomings, this day is actually meaningfully a happy one.

"age is not an option but maturity is a choice."

IS IT JUST ME OR DOES THIS PICTURE DESERVE SO. MUCH. WIN.??? i'm saving this for future generations, period.

raise the flag. i hate writing titles boooo

time to clear up the dead stray papers and pack the files of the post-warzone era,
it's over (notice i held back from saying finally but okay now i typed it out---): nothing is over yet hehe
realised we're kinda trapped in a vicious vortex washing machine cycle of constant studying. the journey's that tough but i hope everyone pulls through it together.

more time now to focus on nat'ls. that ankle should be well because it must.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
huzzah for the hunger games!!!!!!!!!!! revved up because of the ratings and "pee-niss" heh i can't rly get over. of all names, and spellings, really. today i chanced upon a blog with good english and the prettiest pictures upon memory. because all girls from all girls schools keep blogs/diaries. heh til now there's still a hint of cedar pride in me. maybe because i was getting my hands all pricked up by holding the edge of those photos that i developed one too many from graduation day and haven't yet gave to my friends.

idk in this life i feel so hushed up and censored, is this really me????? i'm confused. anyhoo really grateful for whatever online time i have right now, especially now. now when i feel my life is defined by what i think of myself and that can be such a burden. ducks ducks harsh judgement is painful but harsh judgement is all-too-true. i actually hope bren wakes up early tomorw so we can head to the beach i need the beach in fact i just need any open space with oxygen that has not been used up and stuffed in the white-washed walls of torture.
ok that's life by far; waiting to catch up on lives i missed out on. (opportunity cost incurred)

bought 9.30$ worth of products and already feel maximum consumer utility (omg) what have i missed out on lyf.
and i guess, building up walls to shield myself from the explosion of truth that are the results of the mcts. how do people actly go about doing daily life things without overthinking????? pls enlighten me

my hair sucks cola. long also sucks, short even suckier,
SHAVING BALD.

what an impromptu catch up xmas sesh this was hahahaha  wouldn't expect anyone to be free birds on xmas day but so glad to talk to deonn on christmas morning, even if it was just the morning + looking at families eat kfc breakfast together. haha

temasek tennis '12

what is left, if it's a legacy, i'm not so sure. but here's the team of tennis girls.