chunky chunks

1. jasmines birthday at esplanade w yiyin was lava lava lava-ly. ecstatic to be laughing at blog shop model-esque poses at the rooftop. rly special place (u.u) and my red velvet cookies which Luke, Iain and ricks helped me bake. They were so cute about it. Lukey was so distracted over the baking smells, his eyes constantly wandered to the expanding pink cookies (which is soft like cake). Identity crisis lah this batch. But ok the batter was brilliant!!! Smooth thick and luscious haha I would post a video if I could hoho

2. USS with Jes Jo and Ying Xin! Haven't met those poops in ages! Hi Jo I am blogging now- with less um criticisms HAHAHA. Ok coz people kinda find out that I'm this harshly judgemental girl in p6 from my diary confession..... Still feel terrible about this ok haha. Y'all can find my diary then sneak it and read it. I'm totez prepared for some slack jaw activity. YX running for the mascots in hopes to get a good pic (and mostly succeeding at that)

My mini melts ($7 OHELL it's worth it)

 

and how Jo and I walked along the New York portion and ate it nonchalantly/ juxtaposed w Jes and YX frantically taking pictures there. Saw the Joker who scared the wits out of YY hehe- that was like what, April?!?!

Marilyn Monroe, Betty Boop thinking Jes was a foreigner. This girl finally summoned her courage and told MM she was from *awesstrayyyliah*.

She bought it. 

Endless cylon and human rides to make the ticket worthwhile. Thanks a billion to Brenda for snapping up 3 tix for us!!! While she flies off to Europe; this is how you live your life friends. 

3. Birthday celebration tomorrow *confetti party*

4. Partial birthday celebration the day after *more sprinkles of confetti*

P.s: I managed to do italics on my iPhone!!!!!!!! Blogger app THX for the upgrade.

5. Today marks the day that I finally got rather comfortable at my new job. Manageable stream of patients and nice work colleague and happy, non-critical doctor makes for a good day. And also, driving. (I got the most patient, friendly, fatherly instructor whom i could make small talk with). Ashikin's reassuring text really worked for me as well. Quite thankful for her/ and heartbroken that she ain't working here anymore. There's a part of me that believes working at the clinic will help me in future.... But I don't feel super revved up for this job sometimes, bc of its intensity. And the fact that I might just kill someone w drug overdose or smth 

6. Current mode of travel for short distances: unarguably the bicycle!!! And I must share the hilarious stories that come attached with this bike. It's electric blue just like my game boy advanced sp (geek without the Tshirt), and it still has its sheen because it's relatively new beside the old bikes that I see, half collapsing revealing its rusty old gear chains and dirt- encrusted pedals. I've had 4 different incidents that include middle-aged/ elderly dudes admiring the bike...... In an uncomfortably creepy fashion, ie: the Bangla worker giving me the thumbs up sign with a wide grin when I cycled past him.... A slightly delirious old man who was hitting on my bike, the shop vendor at the Bedok bus stop saying I have a mei li de jiao ta che and telling me some Malay man glanced at it while I was away and snapped a photo of it.....

Hahahahahaha it's srsly amusing, the honesty of these people and their objects of um interest. 

Photo of the week:

You're fired

Thankfully these few days / weeks have passed by such that I worry more about my students than anything else. I can finally wake up with a lighter heart and not dread stepping into bishan int at exactly 6.45. I would rather this than anything else right now
Today I learnt of a slightly disappointing nugget of info; social status is ubiquitous wherever there are human beings and it happens no matter how many days have passed on this earth. I didn't know the class would deliberately taunt Boy A, saying things that are not directly hurtful, but chanting things that would make him personally upset. I know I have in my possession the authority to stop this, but the ironic thing is that the others are perfect model students in class, and just so happens that Boy A is the opposite of that. He can't help himself
I was having my dried and wrinkly food when Boy A sat beside me and said he wanted to 'fire' Boy B from being a friend because B didn't show his drawings to A. He said it with anger and hatred at first, his voice reflected the pent up frustrations in the depths of his heart and I understood. I didn't take it seriously because I had a feeling this was merely a phase of his and it would pass.
Then he punched his fists against the table and buried his face in his arms, exclaiming some words I couldn't pick out. He teared and said he was lonely because nobody wanted to sit with him and that really shattered me.
I think I had the old immature way of thinking, but it didn't strike me at all that someone whom I've never seen having a close group of friends would lament that they were lonely and needed somebody to be there for them. I told him I was there with him, sitting with him now. And before his eyes could lose it's shine from the tears, he said he was going to sit with Boy C, a random classmate who had been sitting alone at another table.
My class kids still intrigue me w their idiosyncrasies. Every one of them is just so vastly different in their personality and mannerisms. I cannot channel anger at them if they're not focusing in class because they won't pull up their socks and resolve to work harder next time. And a little part of me withers when I try to strike up a conversation w them but they don't give off the same level of enthusiasm as I, etc. I shouldn't feel that way. Always making the same mental note; don't be inflamed w emotions with Sandalwood.
I love all of them in my class, regrettably some more than others. I talk to the naughtier, more restless ones more because of the copious amounts of prompting that happen within the classroom and I must say they really make my day there a whole lot more challenging yet wholesome.
Back to the topic; I've tried reassuring Boy A to tell me if the others are bullying him again or making him uncomfortable and that I'd do something about it. But my words fall on uninterested ears once again.

happy, but i shouldn't be.

hi world, jo said she had a new wallpaper, so i got suddenly inspired, like hit by a rock kind of inspired and so these are the pictures of my life. idk, i feel like i'm not doing anything substantial enough to call it mugging. trying, but always falling asleep like no one's business. ok maybe it's my business, just that i don't seem to care much nowadays. that saddens me, cos i think i used up all my motivation for....

i'm not sure actually. i feel that its not yet in me, like it's supposed to be. like how everyone's already IN THE ZONE but like my figurative construction workers are digging up a great big moat around the zone and keeping me out of it. so i'm figuratively out of the zone. so much for everything. gaaaaaah.

 

so i'm just waiting for the end. but like there's nothing there.

the boobs are staying awake tonight, hopefully i'm up too.

idk this life is dreary. (ok maybe it's just the fact that i don't get math and it's tough. calculus you don't deserve your existence in the universe.)

what, september holidays of the 2011 are ending. what. (vowel spam here  ←)

^^ v ain't much, but.

i guess if i had the guts to tell you this i would. and it is that yeah, you're right the world is really cruel, everybody's got their head down and everybody's being selfish and uncaring. but life's like this; the most ironic thing is that it doesn't take into account how many people you've cared for, or how many man-hours you placed in wishing well for others and hoping that they'd be a better person. life's about priorities and having discipline and sticking to these priorities. knowing what you are fighting for, and challenging yourself into doing better, even if it is at the expense of others. i don't know why life acts this way, but it just is. it may seem like no one seems to care, when all that really is, probably, is just personal ongoing battles of the heart.
sorry for being the worst ever friend. and thank you for being understanding. i think it's probably the best thing anyone could ask for right now.
wait a second, i don't think what we are living now is even considered life. there are no emotions, only the sadness and stress of promos. there's like nothing to live for and i really hope this won't be what it's like in the future. if not, we aren't humans anymore. only blank respiring zombies with mitochondrion swimming in our blood, living out their independent lives with separate dna.
yeah, okay, don't really know what i'm saying.

i've been lying on my bed and being pensive amidst the occasional napping going on (sh*t) and if anything, i'm kinda grateful for my mom. like i know i'm acting the same way i was, and i've always found out it was not easy to say what i have to say, but ever since that night after titans, however sucky that night was- after everything, i'm glad she's treating me with a bit more sympathy. i guess that's how to put it. anyway my heart feels a lot less bitter and fidgety. maybe it's because i'm trying to change my mindset, which is a major achievement for me. i'm starting to appreciate her more, and it's wasted because i should've appreciated the every bit that mothers do that make them wonderful. but yeah, i'm starting out.-
there are lots of gaps in my thoughts right now. too distracted. pw. okay, lost my train of thought there.

but anyway, hello. it's sixteen days to promos. okay not too sure about the exact day, since the most important thing is that its less than twenty freaking days. i don't know what i'm doing, being a hobo i guess... :/

everyone will be in my prayers~~

aiya screw this. i want to slap my face in flour and idk, scare people or something. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesh. and scream hokkien vulgarities.