3.17

don't know what's gotten into me,

why i feel this way.

can we dance real slow?

can i hold you, can i hold you close?

i'm afraid that if i don't say much, you might be hurt in other ways. how come it's so difficult to speak your heart now? til' then i'll still be thinking.

i'm so proud of you, and really very touched too. you really really realllllllllllllllllly give it your all and your sincerity really shows. you know what, i'm going to decide not to think of what others think of you, 'cos i know deep down you're the nicest person i've ever known. hope all goes well.

had gongcha with jas joy. poor joy. she's far too nice, she really is. she only gets affected by the smallest things because her heart's too big. and she's too nice. spent time laughing. miss the rest cos we never properly go for a gongcha date. <dee you owe me your time hahaha>

and holy. going for training in about five hours time. feeling the jitters as usual. i realised i have always been like so, ever since. more than 365 days ago. pray all goes well tomorrow. pray, pray, pray. must focus more on tennis must run more must improve my stamina by leaps and bounds mustn't let anyone down must get the jackets done for the seniors asap :( fuuu, disappointment.

yeah i guess that's all in my mind for now. it's killing me, the things i don't say. courage is something you for in a leader. courage is something i don't have, yet.
can't figure out what's more important, trainings? pw? social lifeeee?
maybe i should let you go, leave you alone. i don't know how else to do this. what could make you happier? i don't know.

don't wanna look to you in admiration. you don't even care anymore okay. and it makes me sad, so screw this.

the room's hush hush and now's our moment.

eyes on you, eyes on me,

we're doing this right.

nebulas make me happy. pew pew pew pew pew pew pew
spontaneously singing someone like you/ jar of hearts/ rolling in the deep during pw lessons and with everyone doing it, when you know they too are fumbling over pw, kinda makes me happy too.