won't ever let this slip away.

this nine days have been most surreal. best part was that we have 4000+ pictures to provide testament to this amazing experience. i feel so very affirmed of my faith as a catholic and really, without the prayers and intercessions and daily masses by father simon; without the chance to get close to the lord as an alter server for the very first time in my life on an international stage since singapore wants to be all old-fashioned.
and having the best sacrament of reconciliation in my life; i feel that if i don't do something for the needy now, i might have to live with a restless heart for a very long time. all that i've shared during reflections, i mean it and being eyes for the people- god's trying to tell us that we have a mission, to set singapore on fire with the love of god. all this spoken through his messenger, fr. simon, who is and always will be imo, the best priest ever. i actually listen to his homilies without drifting off as badly. or maybe there's just something about the stunning chapel. either way, i have this feeling and i'm embracing it for as long as i live.
i miss the bakery lady and her sweet voice and astounding cookies and toasty hot dogs, i miss greeting everyone in thai and seeing them smile, i miss acknowledging my family of ROME, i miss bren sheryl nat furt and magnum and the company and laughter. i miss nui because seeing her is already an inspiration in itself. it feels different now. i wanna go back to pattaya to hold the orphans and hug them.

being in singapore, i realise how mundane our lives are. being insensitive robotic and structured. never having the chance to really reach out.
there's just so much in pattaya. i feel quite empty now, yet there's a tinge of firmness in a sense that i know i'm going somewhere, going to do something and i don't wanna let father down, or the humanity of the singapore youth fall. it sounds impossibly ambitious but i hope i start somewhere. when one door closes another opens. i feel so heartened that i know what to do with my life; that it's not just all about facebook and having a social life. it's so much more, i can't even. and there are people in the mission like boob and knuckles and furt etc etc that made me inspired to lead with more compassion and heart. knuckles shows me how to love unconditionally like mother teresa. it's hardcore and amazing, how one can love so tirelessly. #salutesgratefully.

i will read my reflections over and over to get hold of the emotions in pattaya from room 315 to all over the redemptorist orphanage and beyond. thanks to so many people for this amazing experience. yes, i can say with conviction that they'll know we are christians by our love. and some part of me thinks that this trip may have actually saved my life, in an emotional manner. praise the lord, and amen to that.

♥♥♥