bon voyage!

secret thanks to parents for making this trip a possibility, and friends for accompaniment throughout these nine days;
really hope everything goes well/ life's perspective changes radically. can't help but feel..J . i woke up from a siesta feeling like it was christmas (before that was the feeling that i wished i had gotten up earlier). this year feels totally different but i can't place a finger on whether it's a good change or a bad one.

+ best bowl of pontian wanton mee for dinnzzz heh #foodappreciation

bye i'll be leaving for pattaya in a bit!!
forever grateful for the well-wishes.


and thanks for trying. JJ

days of our lives.

could've had a castle and wore a ring,
but no, you let me go.

i could've been a princess, you'd be a king

could've had a castle and wore a ring,
but no, you let me go.

and stole my star, lalalalalalala.

HI GUYS THIS IS MY ENEMY, SHE'S CALLED JESVINDER KAUR AND SHE FOUND OUT THERE WAS A FLY IN HER INDIAN FOOD.

ONE MORE DAY!!!!! and my bag is still empty. (omg, right.)

i wish our departure hall is as pretty as t2, but it's budget. hehe, still psyched!!

yellow

2 more days, guys!!!!!! 


thanks for another crazy wonderful day. J

PF REUNITESSSS

back from the tanamera, really had a blast today;

!@#$

splints. :(
i'm going to let everyone down, crapppppp.

love remains the same

when i was running in sneaky ninja mode at night and running the night away in perfect recluse. i re-realised this song again and i love it very very much. makes for good running.

dysfunctional.

i need mounds of clothes; i haven't bought a single piece since....... eons LL

if only we'd tried harder. thanks to family for a nice yesterday.

ogl was fun, brenda's mushroom hair!!!!!! thanks b, jess, lyn, hc people for a lovely day. J ♥♥

random rainy day

life is cool; in a blessed kinda way.
so many stuff going on, the thoughts come resurfaced then go away in a blink, it's so hard to catch them and paste them here.

my thoughts destroy me, kinda like:

idk, kinda.
it's just me being a sulky old twat.
yay, i secretly hope everything goes well tomorrow!! guess who's being awesome and playing tennis with me tomorrow :')

gotta get my life in place then move on again/

i can skip now! i hope it stays that way; trainings have consisted of... lots of h2o lately. it's the weather, it's malfunctioning like it shouldn't be!!

yesterday was coach elwyn's birthday, happy birthday coach!! i really appreciate you, your advice and your patience. i really hope we can get something next year, we will work hard!

had a nice talk w/ sinhui that day after cancelled training and it was nice. hey sin hui, if you're reading this, then hi!! i don't think i will revive twitter any time soon, only if i remember. stay strong, this will resolve itself with time. (pray we survive trainings)!!


& today at macs we concocted a curry solution from coffee creamer, tons of corn syrup, two packets of grape jam, a few clumps of margarine, pepper, salt, chilli and ketchup. basically everything we could get our hands on. and huiting tasted it and i hope she's not constipating, cuz it kinda was bubbling and everything!!!!

only eleven months in this school and my english has already deteriorated at an exponential rate. ggggah.

yeah, sometimes you think you're trying to hard and then you stop thinking it's rational but to others it might not be and the world then ends up confused and your feet starts hurting and so does your throbbing head.
nightttttt

OK HAPPY DAY!!

HI WE WERE ONCE CEDARIANS.

Diane Arbus once said, “A photograph is a secret about a secret. The more it tells you, the less you know.”

these things make me smile!!!!! and my nails are like edward cullen's face, sparkly.
feelin' okay.


wow, i found my orientation period blog, and the bit about how i despised being in this dreary old heck of a green school. but i'm so thankful that happy endings. my heart's thankful for the people, and everything. i must work harder, but other than that, i can't be more thankful.



THANKS, BJ. JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ

it's gonna be here forever~

(†)

some divine intervention would be nice. LLL


amazing sunday, thanks to great team and friends. i had a dream, and i feel jumbled up right now.
i swear, if you opened up to me i'd do the same to you. 

screwed.
~~~~memories are supposed to fade, but what's wrong.~~~~
waves waves waves
O I SAW BLUBBER YESTERDAY!! while i was heaving and panting like an asthmatic dog, no offense to all asthmatic dogs out there.

HAHAHAHA OMG SO DIFFERENTTTTT.

playing with lightning

burnt til i can't blink my eyes w/o hurting hahaha
ate a cake and 4 cookies
worst stamina e v e r
waking up at 6.15am tomorrow for a run at the beach
should be sleeping
tomorrow is sunday
we're never content with our lives!!!!!!!
need some enlightenment
my face is so hot oh shieeeet. i think you can cook eggs on it
glad glad glad wonderful people in life
xx
wrote you a letter, prolly shouldn't be thinking too much though!!
roar

wreckkko

J training, managed to hit 238 rallies on the first try!! way surpassed expectations and the weather's too nice today and training was fun, in a way, i love my team. i hope we don't die during holiday training. we've really gone through quite a bit and improved. go team go!!!! ♥♥♥
too much thoughts in my mind, sometimes i wish i just didn't think. so maybe we've gone through some changes through the year? & if you asked i wouldn't know how to answer. maybe not the person i (once) knew. or or or maybe it's just me (spam spam spam exclamation marks) ((lots of em))
christmas is creeping in, the christmas tree at parkway is already lighted up!! dinnered with sh and we talked!!!!! it's been really, really long. L then met goon and strawberry girl at sogurt oh no -hate to go all economics but- consumer utility for sogurt has gone down down down just like the diminishing amount of yoghurt at every visit, oh nooooooo.

but i love sogurt, it's like a tiny room with girly tables and white-washed walls in a total world of its own. we owned it today!! the only other visitors were grannies hehe.

i really wish i could stop hoping. just, really. kinda tired of myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 where are the people i miss the people a lot. last night was an (emotional) blast. i miss those days, reminiscent of sec 3. sleepless nights and fighting demons.

i wish☼h☼h☼h☼h☼h☼h☼h☼h☼h☼h☼h☼h☼h☼h- screw this!
FOR A THOUSAND YEARS.




life is a (supposed to be) a g******ed happy affair!!!!

life's going to be okay.

fxxk L what am i doing. everyone's got their own demons and i hate to think that i'm the only one trying. everyone is & life is goddarn tough.

but i still got to stay happy, for the things that matter most. thank you. there's so much more to life than this, being sad. lots more.

be happy more, world. confide in family more, world. i'm half hoping you'd read this. don't be sad, world. yeah so maybe our class is gender-segregated, but jasmine goon will save the day!!!!!! J

ps: wooh, class girls so affectionate

jas: "i'm touched max rebs kiss kiss"

jodi: :):) love you :) <3

love burgeons hehehe

//

and sometimes you don't really ask for anything.

c o m p l e t e 

what?

daayum i feel so self-ctred now daayum. i'm screwing myself front right centre, left right all over. i've been a tad bit happier much thanks to wonderful people who work in wondrous ways. maybe i really think so frkin much, i should stop right now. angry with myself damn this.

i actually talked, like talked to my sister today and it feels special because we haven't had a proper conversation since. ever. and lunch today was epic oh yeh!! hardcore trng hardcore trnggggggggg. pain is temporary i've yet to feel right pain suck it up rebecca adssdkjgrijoiwpqovnk. horrible pulling the team down noo. nooo.
must stop thinking forever. dreading tmrw.
//
i'm so happy now i think i kind of forgot why i was upset in the first place. let it stay this way. shoot shoot shoot for the stars. happiest moments make moments happy.

dreams

(ok but for a lack of a better pic)

will these things die eating watermelon?????????? bcos i dreamt that people threw in watermelon in their tank and started floating or sinking which is kind of a scary thought right now.

tc b∞bs, take care, plese. ;-;

♥

i have loved you/ for a thousand years.

the sunday times

mylo xyloto omg i kinda want to have to get that album very very much. happy birthday nelly furtado! this sunday was cool as heck. with the miniature bowls of joojoo japanese rice and hopping over to sogurt to laugh on the red couch.

i don't know, i kind of miss long texts. nowadays, things are falling short sometimes, including text words or maybe i just care too much for the randomest things. like how i'm afraid my brain would overtire from thinking too much, just basically a whole billow of thought bubbles crashing crashing crashing, overworking.

if only i could read minds; or at least understand a sliver about the mind's complexities. i really do wish i can stop thinking so much.

yeah ok seriously in all honesty i wish i could understand some people (who idr understand atm. self-conflicting and exasperating)

so now i can't really get a hold of life........ i'm living meaninglessly? i guess. i don't pray as much; and i feel so lethargic i fall mega short on things to say at home. not like there's any negative vibes around here. uncertainty. gotta save up for clothes soon. how do we make a change in the world? looking forward to pattaya because hopefully it can give me some enlightenment in perspective.

so i studied with breadfish today, and we did everything and anything but. BUT, it was still mega-ultra-super-astoundingly productive. i realise i was born to be a full-fledged listener. it's nice to hear people talk sometimes. when i was young, i actually thought i'd lose it as age grew together with me, but nope, it's still holding strong! so glad. and kinda worried all the same. gah, i am but idk how to face it b. SIGHOKAYOKAY, keep moving forward.

it's never to late to turn it back around.

the only way is up, up, up.

can there really be a fair world? ok brain stop thinking stop thinking, grr.

when you lose something you can't replace.

i don't really know what to add here. browsed through the old pictures and everything's sorta rekindled, like the good times, bad and dark emotions, inferiority, over-sensitivity, uncertainty. i was a crazy girl.
i am really really grateful for everyone who has come into frequent contact with me during the past two years. it was the toughest part of life on the inside. thanks for loving me even though i really couldn't do so myself.

i know i was fighting demons all night and now, it's much better than before, it really is. it seems like i can see a little bit clearer now, but i'm still not all that perfect and everything.

but thank you.

LILEH.

rebecca is quite important for her enemy. ^^

hi les kaur!!!!!!!!!!!! i feel so loved, i knew you always felt that way, how enemies hate it other!!!

<smilies all year round>

KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE, AND YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER. (and lump them like ol' lumpy hehe)

i think my keypads will spoil if i talk to you every night hehe, hate you enemy, get well soon eh!

life

wow, someone's life is only worth one song. okay even though it's fix you and it really truly is amazing but what must be going through her mind before that i'm sorry i really can't comprehend. to end your life because your mind tires is not a really smart way to die. i believe God has planned greater things in future for us. (cool priest at holy fam today hehe)
so if one song is able to change one's decision to live or die, thennnnnnnnn. imo it's not very smart right? lives are worth more than words strung together with melody.

extremely antisocial. :'( after op's over. can't wait.

i want to run i am well already, everyone!!

fix you/ paradise/ radio on repeat repeat repeat.

sights.

want to go back there again! experiencing new culture is always good for the soul ♥

tears streaming down your face

so i guess tomorrow will be better;

/lights will guide you home and ignite your bones.

1,2,3

i'm feeling quite tired, thinking and all. nvm.

anyway, hi brend. :')

I've been working hard so long 

Seems like pain has been my only friend 

My fragile heart's been done so wrong 

I wondered if I'd ever heal again 

Ohh just like all the seasons never stay the same 

All around me I can feel a change (ohh)

I will break these chains that bind me, happiness will find me 

Leave the past behind me, today my life begins 

A whole new world is waiting it's mine for the takin' 

I know I can make it, today my life begins 

Yesterday has come and gone 

And I've learnt how to leave it where it is 

And I see that I was wrong 

For ever doubting I could win

Ohh just like all the seasons never stay the same 

All around me I can feel a change (ohh) 

I will break these chains that bind me, happiness will find me 

Leave the past behind me, today my life begins 

A whole new world is waiting it's mine for the takin 

I know I can make it, today my life begins

Life's too short to have regrets 

So I'm learning now to leave it in the past and try to forget 

Only have one life to live 

So you better make the best of it

:'( this song is so you. it's so darn apt. :( :( :( :( i'm scared.

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :( 'today my life begins.' please dont start a new life


there are some stuff that matter right now, and some that needs to be forgotten.
bad, bad times, these days are.
f this. how is it possible that coldplay comes out with all of their amazing vids (read: strawberry swing) which are like stop-motion heaven. why are they so beautiful. how can songs be so apt right now?!?! i think it's the hormones. really i think so.