Epic convo time with Jas

*Utilising screenshots in every way possible ngeheheh*
/yesterday when we had tons to say.

The rest of the convo too bitchy sua
Did you hear sua is trending now cos we need to have some days feeling chill like a Singaporean ah beng.

Jes / 30 May

I can't even bring myself to think of what happens if I lose them. Today albeit imperfect has its perfect little moments and maybe that's what I will remember, the happier hues than the garish dark taints. Didn't think I would know Jes any better than I did in sec 4 but I did and I'm so happy to realise all this, today.
And I'm kinda thinking how people don't deserve some stuff that they're having which makes me upset because they really deserve so much better? Just want to pick them up and give them a rocket boost so they can look down at the ill- or not so deserving treatment and realise that and move on to greener pastures, (assuming the hypothetical human appreciates good pastures as much as cows do).
In this holidays I really have a lot to prove. I just need to change /italics/ it just has to come///
And up to now I really just can't bring myself to talk about family it's not much really it's all rosy and God makes everything fall into place, we pray we go to church, parents love endlessly and sacrificially... It's so politically correct until something feels like it's gravely missing and I can't put a finger to it.
This day is weird and wonderful. I hope tomorrow is great.

Happy

Focusing on things that actually matter. So maybe there is a lot of order that my life needs right now, sorting thoughts out and stuff
Then again it can wait.
Disappointed that I rarely have the guts for anything actually,

Bought stickers for cheap thrills on the last day of school. For the term. Floorball really put up a good fight and I was really inspired by true leadership on court. So glad I could watch a finals which are such a rarity in tj esp in the span of 2 meagre years.
:)

Eggs and berries

Lots of xxx
Thanks Paige for the belated treat this has all been really amazing luv luv :')

Happy day

I think it's the big fluffy promises of the holidays
Or maybe the pretty weather
Or maybe the fact that I'm on par with Lok for Scramble (hee hee)
But today feels like a really fine day
And the class girls are all awesome cos everyone is inexplicably lovely and easy to slide into a comfortable conversation and JC's passing just a tad too quickly I think.
Plus we watched The Pianist for GP which is a first and it sorta reminded me that this day will never happen again maybe this is one of those ephemeral days that God provides to signify a big pile of stress in a short time to come? But that would be cynical. But yay for happy days like this.
The Pianist is depressing and melancholic and everything grey though asdfghjkl

run for your life, my love.

This Wednesday

Le teriyaki chicken and he2 bao1 dan4 friend. Teehee first lunch w her since agessssss
/

Why am I so drawn to things that break me
Why no focus on what's best? Grrr

Tourists.

It seems quite pathetic, being a spectator and watching bridges fall apart when you know life could have been a much happier affair.
:)

daggers in the dark

i wonder if too much thoughts and time for contemplation will make me worse rather than motivated. up til now i have no idea what to be. too dumb for the medicine stream, too science-y for the psychology stream, too inadequate for scholarships, too unwilling to be a lab technician or a biomedical engineer or a chemist or an accountant (compound taxes no thx) maybe i'd be something like my cartoon superhero and save the world in a particular way maybe i will climb tibetan mountains or travel the world by sail or invent something.
i don't know. reality. a rock and a hard place.
no anyway, this year is a hard year for us, like all of us and sometimes fighting is all you want and need to do throw away those sh1t though it's hard it's friggin tough to let the mind think up thoughts of others that become a burden and then being replete with mindless senseless false thoughts that make you self-combust and makes you bob in and out of melancholy. what. really, whattttt.
saw deonn perform again today second time in my life in tj, so proud to say that i know the girl who brought tj drama up to the ranks of gold with honours. honours. and inge and they surely must have put a mad amount of effort which fortunately paid off. so glad for them. so here's reassurance, d, that you've made your mark the way you've wanted to even though you thought you couldn't at times. but you did and it's amaaaaaazing. come to think of it, i guess we've all had a relatively good year, improved in one way or another. glad to know ket and vik will lead the team to attain the stage of faster, higher, stronger. and bren and jas played good matches and floorball is up at the semis and i'm so heartened to hear that.
i will miss all this.

I love you team.

Today has been nice and I really love you guys and pray that this batch fits the mould perfectly of my hypothetical cookie cutter of expectations :) Fingers x fingers x

It will.

I can't be the mood I am now, ah asdfghjkl I don't know what I want but this kinda seems like what it shouldn't be
I am happy today all of this matters viks charm and nadia's birthday and rach was really there to make it all and this is perfect really. The team is worth it.
I guess that's all now. This would be much much better if life didn't have feelings attached to it, not to me at least, this everything feels unsustainable.
I got it, I have what I've always wanted and loved. Screw these thoughts

Granola granola gran gran instagram

Love it how instagram can glamorise almost anything

Like humble post it pads hehe and the stuff in my room hooooey

Posting from 📱

Hehe virgin experience hee feels good.

Remembered a funny Jodi moment:
"I like..... Rebs (I had thought she said that at first then she was like)... Like tortilla wraps, mexican wraps..."
Omg I didn't laugh so hard in ages she epic like that 😊😊😊

Hehe sinhui's picture I can't even... !!!!!

punching myself again

always making me feel worse hahahahaha okay i kind of wish i can accomplish something in life, not grunge around waiting for something good to fall into my hands. now that i have my iPhone i feel unstoppable (muahahaha) and everyone's asking me whether i'll reply faster to which i say yepppp i'm so gonna try my best now hahah what is this man i feel eversolaggg.

oh, so here's to achieving something great in life. and caring at the same time.i feel sh1t for how things are at home, irdkkkkk. here's to achievers who always inspire.
and in other news, been pondering this for awhile but creationism and darwin's theory of evo how can i believe two conflicting theories i find it quite hard to swallow the latter. and i miss cat classes i miss how deep my heart goes when i speak to god only eight more months before this is all over~~~~
i love the kids i see 5/7 days in a week who never fail to make me laugh what is happiness is this happiness yeah i think in a way, yes.

happy birthday popo i love my popo but idk how to show it. i guess that's all of my life right now. not knowing how to go about doing things. i just wanna give her a hug or take a picture with her or bake cornflake cookies together before her hair turns grey. love her cooking so so much but we usually have take-out meals nowadays every week and i feel i see her less and less already on a monthly basis. screw life screw life