i love breakfasts and always will 🌳

my days are marked by bowl food

sent my parents this bc i went to church obamaself

treads on grass.

i had time for myself yesterday night, so it was time to ketchup with a few people and tell them how life is rn. skype would be *~perfect~* actually. i long to hear the singapore accent amidst the aussie drawl i hear more frequently now.

yesterday peiying and i went for a 'day-trip' to circular quay with one of the nice people of iglu + another college kid in iglu. there was a lot of walking to do, but i did discover some amazing picnic spots in the botanic gardens. yes, picnic; like actual green meadows you can settle down on with good picnic food and good company. there is dry and sunny weather which makes it all preddy amazing. it's quite unfortunate that there is never a good picnic time in singapore. the grass would be damp or the sun would be blistering, there is no in-between. the dim sum lunch yesterday was the first i had with the friendly people living in iglu. they all seemed really approachable but i think i'd need more time to shake off the awkward new kid on the block-ness and warm myself up. all of them symbolize the melting pot of nations (taiwan, arab, aussie, viet)

i can foresee life to be none as i had ever experienced before. it's daunting in that aspect. but it is this life that i can/must try to use all my knowledge i gained from the past years to make it a positive experience, at least. i find it quite difficult to decline people, so every polite decline i manage to muster makes me feel like i am growing *sortof* into a human who knows her needs well and doesn't succumb to the pressure of others (which was an internal burden i was always carrying last time) aka

it is impossible to please everyone so why not start with myself. but pleasing myself doesn't mean i can neglect other people.

i don't dare to throw this chance away.

and i really do look forward to better superfood meals- sydney's variety of health food make me dizzy with excitement and hope  

that's the really amazing picnic / botanic gardens place!!

((i've been mentally bookmarking places to bring visiting friends to.))

we were walking back home and i saw people pausing momentarily outside a bank to take pictures. it was then i noticed- GAYTMs!!!! complete with glitter and bling. 

my dad would love this!! being religious and all~

YIYIN AND I: stupid things are the best. and i really love her instavideos of her strumming the guitar, lookin' all serious and stuff

bondi and sore feet

i wore long pants to the beach-each

went to get away

my dad was like "wah my feet so smooth" after treading on the silky soft sand

breakfast bowl today!!!! i love the peanut butter it's cheap ($5) and 100% peanut woop woop!!!

this is dated 20 feb. i was really pathetic then. i didnt actually know letting go would be so hard...? cried like i would never see a father again. i guess i'd just been so dependent on him the past few days. he has done a lot for me and we went to look around lots of places. i am much better now and would not like to revisit my sad emotions because that would hurt. 

soooo yeah we said goodbye at central station and i was telling myself "ok look away/ talk about something/ dont think about it" but when it came down to the last minute nearing the tap-in gate, and he was smiling and said the fatherly stuff that dads say when they leave their daughters alone in another continent i really couldnt help it and walked the way home crying. 

i also stopped by a bookshop at the train station to get rubberbands and thumbtacks. i was crying while browsing and also while paying AND TO THINK ABOUT IT NOW, it is such an epic thing. no wonder the lady at the counter was so nice like "do you need a bag? have a good day" like twice 

i should have looked more sympathetic so i can have free stationery dang it. 

today, which is 21st, 

i did a marvellous run with the roommates at 7am towards darling harbour, sort of like clarke quay! really beautiful and chilly, so for the first time in forever i didnt break out in perspiration, at all!! ive always been looking forward to this moment of not sweatinf while exercising and its happening- thats a positive thing because it fuels the motivation to keep exercising ☺️☺️☺️

paddy's market was visited by stacy and i after the run, and the cheap veg and fruits? i raved about it ten times to her about how we are coming here every alt day for good groceries and she mustve been so tired of it hehe. so my life here in the middle of chinatown is going to be a-okay, i will survive!!!! 

my feet hurt so essentially, i slept for two hours after that. woke up really confused.

had this bigass thang for lunch no joke

 

a home cannot be built around somebody

for me, at this very moment, i have. and it's around my dad. once he leaves tomorrow afternoon, that is when i will be all on my own, without a home to go to. for my heart, it is a bad decision for my dad to have come in the first place. his return to singapore will be the worst thing i will ever feel, especially since he has been caring for me throughout the entire five days he was here. on the first few nights, he had to walk home really late (9pm) back to his hotel room. late bc the city gets dangerous and dark very fast. he cleaned up the apartment for me and was always the earliest to wake up as he would meet me at my place after having his breakfast at macs or subway. and again, i'd feel bad for always being on the receiving end of this love. 

i hate to see tomorrow come 

a quickie bfast of natural pb, pear, grapes, oats and organic honey 💕

my dad super loves food and we super love liushabao and dimsum so we had just that, in a little yumcha shop in chinatown. my dad and bethea's mom were the chaperones AND THEY KNOW EACH OTHER FROM UNI (same course!! makes me wonder about what pleasant coincidences are in store for da future haw haw)

so anw ya there they were being concerned as ever about safety and sharing the worst stories of people getting hurt when they roam the streets late at night (horrifying murders, theft). that definitely made me wna keep 100% safe in the apt

monumental day one

i am greatly lacking in proper airport pictures (but i love those golden ones i have right there ^ ✨❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️) farewells are really great, i am grateful and awed by the extent of care and love and sacrifice (of sleep & time) from the friends. and letters, yes i love letters, the more imperfect the better. i am sucha letter hoarder / memory keeper idek where to begin. 

foam boards will be my new room design idea; installing them on every inch of my concrete wall so i can push pins into them. at least iglu is classy like that heh. throughout the time in sydney i feel so bad because dad sacrificed too much of his time. we went around shopping for household items the entire day, found a church, he lugged around a luggage bag w a broken wheel whilst being disoriented on our way to da new crib. the reason i feel kinda bad is, all this parental sacrifice for a child- i can't imagine me doing it next time. i will probably be sleeping on my bed too tired from life to make time for my children's graduation, or something like that. 

so i am kinda excited to start studying speech!!! because i am armed with lots and lots of stationery. i have not left out pencil leads, in fact i have two boxes. a block of white paper has also made my luggage its abode and i didnt even know bc my dad brought it from sg. basically life here is so tiringly expensive that i migrated my singapore life over hah ok overwhelming!!!

stuck like glue

i love u too much paige!!!! it was super cute how you sat there with tears in the corner of your eyes, while i sat there giggling at you (i was trying to block out all my emotions + i didnt know what to feel at all which is scary)

you really put a lot of effort in all your friends and it amazes me to no end. thanks for sticking around since 2001 

this gurl since 2009 and i feel like i am writing some morbid life story but its the only way the special moments can be brought up (i have no clue in what i say) it was our first day out together ytd, since ever and it is much needed. our vday 2014 was so imperfect but imperfect is comforting for me!!! we swore lego movie was better than frozen, i laugh at you spending 15 mins on deciding which sushi platter you wanted- i bought a packet of nuts while you were still deciding and was surprised to find u among 4 other caucasian adults who suddenly appeared. 

what the hell am i leaving behind srsly 

and my 2am was spent talking to yiyin (late night talks are most ✨ memorable ✨) tbh i really fear for my future self; what is going to happen to me after this year oh man. i have to be less trusting of people even though it is really hard. i need more spiritual/emotional calcium to strengthen my backbone 

i feel like i am a graduate from happiness school

ok here is a summary sans punctuations (AINT NOBADY GOTS TIME FOR DAT)

the goonsters n i went shopping for sydney stationery and i drove the car my dad was beside me being really cautious as i *almost* knocked down the barrier *almost* swerved way too fast and *certainly* caused huge distress to my three passengers 

OK FINE I RLY DONT WORK WELL UNDER PRESSURE BUT I PROMISE TO BE EXTRA CAUTIOUS FROM NOW ON so hand me a car and i will revert back to my 20km/h self- safety for me and my surroundings 

anyhooz thanks jasmine youre always there being free and i can recruit u for free-girl adventures like monday and i luv (and will miss) that so so much 

we were fascinated over duke bakery breads - so soft i can lay my head on it as a fluffy pillow and got our hearts broken bc penny uni was closed!!! "oh ya monday is closed café day" i was presented w a dora the explorer blankie (i love blankies they r my fav things ever since 1994- i can rmb the size and texture of each one!!!!) thx for that 😍😍😍:

white small blenket

yellow big blenk w holes

current flowery cloth blanket which smells like a cumulation of rebeccas throughout 2010-2014 🙊

how this day started was:

abi: "rebs can u help me get balloons i live in clementi its too far away from anything"

i got two heart shaped balloons from a kickass bugis party shop and hopped onto bus 80, got slapped and smothered by two tin-foiled helium burdens w strings and when i got down the bus

i was so pleasantly surprised bc jiaxin brought balloons too!!! abi thought of celebrating two events hence the two recipients of celebrations got each other balloons which is wonderful 

spent 24$ in our fav dimsum place w herbal chicken and mantous in tomato-based sauce urrrrrrgh food baby rolls around in thy tummy

the cars along that road were intense we almost got knocked over 3 different times 

that aside, catching up is always wonderful and so is taking lots of pictures and subsequently using vsco to edit each and evry one 💕👌

alw loving her long touching insta captions; always so 🔝🆒💯

owl miss ms siti!!!! shes the coolest teacher bc she's one of the young unz and omg pathlight.... the boy kids actually had growth spurts and puberty set in already (sandalwood kids have somehow been stretched vertically) (and it took half a year to do that) it's a heartwarming sight to see them, talking about the same old things as before (adding me on facebook, watching smosh) it is as if july to december never really existed bc we picked off where we last met 

dance girl is radiant + busy 

"ah this place feels like memories"

"pathlight where our lives were transformed / our dreams coming true"

idek ☺️☺️☺️☺️

got home and ket texted to say she was cmg over to pass me something and it turned out to be a tj tennis shirt!!!! it is huge but i will wear it to bed or maybe use it as a towel to wrap around myself. it is really nike-ish

really glad i could fit in a mini chat with my junior captain who's interested in the healthcare scholarship honestly i crave for some tj familiarity and im rooting for her all the way. proud mother moment 

and she mentioned how 2012 was the best year in tennis and as hair-raisingly clichéd as it sounds, i termed it "the golden year" haa haa ewwwrgh

i loved the dynamics of the team and me and sin being seniors to a whole big bunch of juniors seemed crazy but they knew how to take care of themselves and were cooperative teammates and amazing friends 

today got off all right, then a really irksome email came through which totally obstructed happy rays from coming through- an email which involved money (i feel illegal) i was late for the arts house meeting with the rest of the schols but it turned out i didnt miss much. managed to catch a coupla girls ^ whom we promised to go on a crazy yolo holiday which didnt happen btw us, but i did get one w jas to hawng kawng ow yeaaa. 

✔️ doing crazy trips *check*!!!!

i was actually dreading the meeting bc it wasnt my social mood day today aft the ~email~ but it was nice catching up and the funniest part was bidding goodbye because it was like "see you.... soon.."

we were so unsure of when we will be seeing each other again!!! same thing with these kids

whom i managed to catch up with bc i didnt have any time with them in the chalet!!! 

smiley banaynay

one week more what!!!!! packing is just not going down wimme right now.... 

and *creepy creepy* but i always dream about 1611 maybe i crave for a class again??? somewhere to belong to. last night was them dancing to 1960s tunes in an old shop. 

baked bananas are my new all-time favourite thing to have with cashew butter because they taste like caramelised goreng pisang without the carcinogenic flour batter outer layer. real love ❤️

had brownice today, as well as two days ago: (no ragrets)

the black sesame was divine and so was the dark chocolate!! i can polish off the entire sundae obamaself i think ✋ 

i was with evelyn n claire my healthy girls today. talked more than the other time (i was half an hour early) so precious time yay!!! really comfortable with these people. our conversation touched a but on my packing... well oh my cod i really do need to get started - yet there is nothing to pack right i mean i won't be there for winter so i guess the only puffy thing would be my blankie and pillows

JITTERS!!!!

they served this really posh filtered water over at brownice and it made us pee like twice while we were there. or maybe thrice. conclusion: it was a good detoxifier/ body cleanser

• meeting the tennis girls tomorrow for the first time since charmaine went over to bkk!!!!! •