things that are going smoothly for me

• i cleared my two jabs today (the one on my arm has the numb ache feeling- it iz guna bruise....

but i think of zhiting and how the nurse lady wiggled the needle when it was in her and i feel slightly better hur hur)

• i finally overcame my inertia and used my blender for something it can be used for: blending green smoothies (once again, inspired by the chef lady who said "think of them as investments") yeah i love it!!!! the lack of resources here aint got nuthin on me i am still going to blend them green thingz up and fill the house with my merry blending sounds (more like ear-bleeding monotony)

• i love onions and garlic so i bought those two in powder form. no ragrets. 

• b&j are coming on 29 june my inner self is hopping w excitement!!!

• my outer self awaits an 8am leckchuh tmr morning ❤️❤️❤️

~*magic*~

• i am a hardcore fan of oats/ nut butter / banana anything; breakfasts are like that (5eva)!!!! i'd wake up the earliest and sneak into the kitchen so i dont disturb the others and assemble my breakfast and savour it as the sun rises (~7am) idk i guess it is something i really do love to do here, it keeps me grounded and sane (& most importantly, filled for the rest of the day)

• i feel like i've grown a lot ????? well at least now i do laundry and vacuum my room which is unheard of (i myself am still not really sure if i am me aka just-roll-about-in-mess person)

• i gave out brochures at newtown station for the vegan festival!! the passerbys were nice and most of them smiled so that was unnerving and helped me do my job with more positivity. one younger girl took it and was like "why is your entrance fee $47?!?" in a joking way and i just laughed and pretended to be sympathetic when i'm secretly relieved i get to go in free (hahahaha *douche syndrome*)

• i sat down for a cooking show by a talented chef of sadhana kitchen:

(they were selling coconut meringues on tues and i hurried over after school so i could get a slice)

so anyway the chef explained how she was a pharmaceuticals salesperson before opening the cafe and that itself made me SOSOSOSOSOSO inspired (to do the exact same thing oh my) bc being a chef for a raw food cafe- in sydney the mecca of raw foods- would be amazing because you can access things so easily and mingle with other enthusiasts about recipes and the like 

i actually think i'm still quite clueless as to what i'd like to do in my life...... i think there are a lot of passion(s) to be discovered 

• having said that, i think speech pathology here is interesting. like i finally understand when uni flenz say how you get to study the things that interest you and that is what pushes you through the course- i feel that!!! i especially like psychology because it is relatable to life as me the 20yo knows it, albeit it being a lil vague (lecturer) ((1000word essay on what depression is))

it's still nice to read how the mind perceives things and how much we've grown (as mankind) to understand ourselves. 

• i am still in a fuddle as to how to properly spend my time feeling less stressed heh idk (;- ;) i worry myself into making sure i put in the added effort for readings yet insta + snapchat put me into perma-procrastination mode 

precious hours trickle by and i am super aware of it yet sometimes i'm just passive and let it pass thus i get worried again 

but i read a quote on twitter today "dont worry too much, it doesnt get the future job done and you fail to appreciate the present"

um so like um um yyyyar baby steps for self-improvement 

& it's late <11:43 ikr> so i will leave this space half-heartedly ❤️gudnaits❤️

so today this happened

it was a taxing day both on the mind and the body, because of one of the homies (STACY LUMPZ) dislocated her arm today during captains ball 

zhits peiying n i were there at the scene and i was just reeling with shock i think i was more afraid than stacy herself but she is very brave and took it very well (no tears!!!!) the doc arrived in a small ambulance 20+ mins later (all this while we were just sitting around her being afraid bc it did look purdy bad) then a bigg ambulance arrived not long after at the side of the park at which we were playing so we had to walk her there slowly 

i never rly thought i'd face these situations at all, never in singapore, much less here?!?!?! nonetheless we adapt to the ever-changing circumstances because thats life i guess and we are all grown up

it was by a stroke of luck that there were a lot of people to help her (capt ball organized by the singapore society) so at least there were familiar faces, and it's a saturday morning and not an evening or a night. plus it was a dislocation not a fracture. the odds were muchly in our favour in a way, even though things look rly tough now 

we got home at 4pm after the doc popped her arm back in and now she's casted. thank the lord for the successful *operation*/ patient care

zhiying came down to the hospital (walked) despite the mad blistering heat and her sore throat to wait together w us and she brought apples to allay our ravenous hunger pangs which was really sweet

when zhits and stac and i got home later, peiying n her were already cooking up a storm 

never had one of these communal pot meals before, it was so cute. py used up a crazy large amount of rice and minced pork and zhiy+zhits did the eggs and onions 

their sacrifices make me feel warm and homey ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

i think when one is this far away from familiar faces, one readjusts and creates a home away from home 

ok so this was scary and i hope it will turn out a-okay for stacy 

^ we were in the "family room" aka waiting room bc we had to wait for her (it had magazines and warm lighting like a real family room ha ha) and somebady decided to open her really sweezy (sweet + cheezy) snapchat 

i read magazines 

bright side of the day: stacy was kind of drugged during and after the *operation* so we were laughing at her

we laughed even harder when the records shown that the cause of the fall was "breakdancing" and "falling of the table" the image of that actually happening made us collapse into tears thank goodness not literally

nobody else needs to know where we might go

today bethea and i were talking about life here

*heave ho heave ho*

it isnt quite as easy as expected?!?! well we did rationalize that there is just added stress on ourselves because the stakes are high, and the environment of which we reside is causing us to place pressure on ourselves. i feel this pressure again coming down on me 

felt like i havent slept for ages (& i miss afternoon naps but i cant because i dont want to lie down on my bed without bathing -whats this domestic streak in me-)

• 8 am lessons tomorrow

• i learn pretty interesting stuff like grammar and phonetics, about the temporalmandicular (?) joint, sociology and about healthcare..... i shouldnt dread waking up early this is all worth it, monday will be fine 

• i want to upload 15/2 piccas if all goes well aka i have sufficient break time 💕 do people remember the memories that they have left behind for others? do they remember the contents of their letters or was it just emotions in that single transient moment 

• catching some zzz-s bc 1.20am 

i ve been raring to write a post actually

first day of school (just like the ol' times)