to sum it up, this sem has been treating me good. i think i'm getting more structured in my work, which helps me learn better. it does help that learning about neuro and pathologies (diseases) and stuttering makes regular ol' study time a lot more interesting. there's even a child observation session we have to do- 1. finding a child aged 1-4

2. playing and stimulating conversation from him (100 utterances)

3. recording what he says 

4. noting his behaviour (social and cognitive development)

5. essay

where can you find these fun things in jc!!!!! 

on a side note it feels like chronic stress right now because there is always a test of some sort allocated to each week, starting from this week. *shizzes get real*

every day is pretty much the same.... i feel like im in an arranged marriage with five other females cus we are living together under one roof lolol still is q amazing we started out literally as strangers and six months later, everyone knows everything about everyone else. and it's really lovely, i learn a lot from my housemates, like how to see life, how to love, how to show love, how to handle the tribulation of being alone in a country. it's really nice to have a lil family. 

i get to find out a lot about myself. quiet moments get me reflecting about who i was as a 19 year old and how i saw things in a rather unhealthy unsustainable way. i find out that i am capable of passionately loving what i do. i was dormant for a long while, afraid of criticisms and comments but i realized that sooner or later, people need to know about having a plant-based lifestyle. i feel..... as crazy as the professors who proclaim their love for vaccinations ("everyone should have their vaccines")

food can be revolutionary. and i still stand by this quote "every day you have three votes to show your support for what you believe in" 

*ok that quote is rather mangled k i forgot the exact words, but really, each person should feel empowered by their food choices. you get to support the food industry, or you get to support your body and feeding it what it needs*

i have felt so restless within this past week, thinking of the changes this world needs right now and wishing i could do it. thinking of how to change one person at a time without being like a food nazi. i now believe that there are ways to be strong and lean and not fat without having to deprive yourself ever so often. the solution is stupifyingly simple although radical- change the way you look at vegetables and change what you feed yourself. be aware that big food companies only want profit, and they do it at the expense of consumer health. know that sugar is as addictive as cocaine (this is true bc my mind was in a whirl as i stuffed a whole pack of timtams down my gut last time and didn't feel satiated one bit. refined sugar played such tricks on my mind, i felt it's better not to go down that road anymore. 

getting to listen to my body and being dairy, wheat and refined sugar free has honestly been the best decision i have ever made so far. and in doing so, i appreciate the fragility of the human body. after all, food technology has evolved much faster than biological evolution. some times (or maybe all the time), it's better to go back to eating what our ancestors ate. 

typing my thoughts out in a condensed hasty rush but.........
watching freeleethebananagirl completely changed my viewpoints about the world quite honestly. i mean, i knew about the effects of dairy already on the body- all the inflammatory torture and the war on the immune system that's ongoing with the consumption of pus and hormones from bovines... which was the reason why i stopped drinking milk last year.
but this time the change in me was different. i feel empowered. i feel like i have a story to share that can change people, and let them know. these days i feel so so restless!!!!! there are things i need to share but i can't do it now i need to wait.
i'm not even sure what i'm doing right now. although i need to study for a neuroanatomy mid-sem exam hence i need to put this out in a jiffy.
hmm. i'm done feeling sorry for myself, i really am. all my life i've questioned my misfortunes and blamed myself in anguish for it. i've wanted people to change me. but this time, somehow, i feel empowered with food. to change the world. i feel that now, i need to change others (????). it's a good feeling. i'm glad my negative self-wallowing thoughts are out of my brain. everything is so much clearer. there had always been this voice in my head forcing this belief onto me that people hated me- for my personality, my appearance, for the things i did not do. but this year i understand that humans are kind. and that i should start being kinder towards myself. i've rid myself of degrading bad habits, like lurking about in the shadows of social media, thinking about how great my life would be if i were xx or yy. honestly, hate is something you just need to get out of your system before change can start happening. and i realise that.
i swear never in my life have i been so passionate about something until i've gone into this lifestyle which i know in my heart is the right one for me. i'm apologetic that sometimes i feel that others think i coerce my beliefs on them and that makes them feel self-conscious. but i really must stand my ground in what i believe in because that's what has been told to us all our lives. stand up for what is right. and right now, there are so many things wrong in this world.
idk where i want to go, but okay, neuroanat beckons. :I

reload; this is free love, that's what we are made of

there's no better feeling than being strong for yourself.
so much feels of emptiness and how life in singapore is different from where i left it. but i should accept that time passes even when you are not there. you cannot expect people to wait for you because their lives are important to. and so is mine, and hence i need to suck it up and lead the best life i can, right here.

do what you can, with what you have, where you are.

damn i wouldn't have expected myself to feel all these cliched emotions- the sadness of leaving singapore, the gap in topics that i can talk about???, and all these icky talk about 'who leaves and who stays' cus i honestly don't believe in it...
well, sometimes you think of good stuff and sometimes you think of sad stuff. i don't really wanna revel in melancholy all the time like i did. stay strong for yourself and things will go okay.

wintry cold but we are alright

meet-ups with Jo-Ann and other stories

she drove us to homebush and i was feeling super very excited bc........ SHE'S DRIVING!! AND SHE DRIVES SO NORMALLY LIKE SHE WAS A SEASONED AUSSIE ON DA ROADS hellzyeah. she blasted 'pretty hurts' by beyonce and we just belted out the tunes with the windows down, it was so legit. and the weather was ~~ so fine ~~ ◕‿ ◕

jo: "i love it how when we're together i get all mature."

we've all grown up, we can feel it in our bones. i realize how the angst of adolescence has dissipated into mild embarrassment now (retrospective regrets and 'why did i ever think that way' moments). jeez i really was too caught up in myself, assuming the absolute worst in people because i couldn't respect my own self, harbouring distrust and insecurities in my friends, thinking that a tortured soul was an interesting one. what a life.
i'm so glad i met jo-ann, who saw me at my worst yet saw past that and acted crazy together anyway throughout chinese class.

yesterday, i said something she wholeheartedly agreed with and she exclaimed "YES, YES EXACTLY" i honestly thought she was going to swerve into the wrong lane. ^ it's always kinda amazing how similar our views are it's hilarious

oh we had thousand spices which was in the middle of school and central, where we both reside. fancier than i thought it would be. i chose chickpea curry while jo had the surprisingly good tomato-based cottage cheese curry. i appreciate hot, thick curry everytime, really i do.

friends of winter season

first getting introduced to the ❁ fisheye lens ❁ by jasmine. it was an exciting first when even standing against the white walls of the garden seemed appealing

foxy lady hazel tjy ^3^

first day in singapore and.... some prawn mee noodles that were legit. BEACH ONES ♡♡♡♡♡
 tysvm bren. i was planning a chill day when bren arrived at my place and the beach seemed a pretty good idea then. I LOVE THE BEACH

cycled to kembsy and passed hazel her ❁ fisheye lens ❁  which she got to use extensively whilst in taiwan hur fisheye gang unite plis 

ass yiyin giving some disapproval here xx

thank you for attempting to call me to rant and i wish i had slept a lil bit later that day (◕︵◕) 

thinking we could eat 50 but ended up eating just -what- 5 sashimis each?? lolol

(✿◠‿◠)

when we met tan si tong and were convinced she was never going to look up. true enough, we walked to the stationery shop, walked back and she was pretty much in the same position... we had to sit at her table for her to notice. well that was all right, cuz i had an insta post EHHEHE ♡♡♡  ̿ ̿̿’̿’\̵͇̿̿\=(•̪●)=/̵͇̿̿/’̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ♡♡♡ 

top of the morning matcha granola

today... i didn't manage to wake up in time for church, i woke up 6 mins after mass started. it got me into the mood to make myself a breakfast. today's inspiration came from tumblinbumblincrumblincookie aka this amazingly talented 15 year old singaporean girl who whips up vegan-friendly dishes as easy as a snap

in other words the perfect instagram account to follow if you need a good appetite-whetting. magic happens when the almond milk and residual matcha powder mixes. and that was when i knew i had to try some matcha-infused granola!!!!! （＾∇＾）

3/4 c rolled oats

1/4 c buckwheat

1.5 tbsp syrup of choice

2 tsp matcha powder

1 banana sliced into coins (this is a glorious addition)

handful (or more) of some crushed walnuts

next up on my list is green pancakes; either from spinach or matcha. green food are whimsical.

bought some ground flax seeds with huihui's advice. it forms a better egg and gets better digested by the body as well. 

also, more yeast flakes as i find the time to make some cashew cheese and carrot spag.

attended UNSW's unibuds potluck which was in fact, not an international student society as you would've thought, but a buddhist society hohoho tbh buddha's way appeals to me as i first took a glimpse into history at bhutan. and i feel very into meditation right now (adding more yoga into my days instead of pilates because controlled breathing helps me) 

meet huihui ^

prolly for the first time in my entire life, i denied rainbow cake!! and did not regret it (＾ｰ^)ノ ！！！

actively doing things is also being added into my days cus i'm still 4ever trawling social media hurhur ok bye i fade off into background now

be an active do-er, not a passive wait-er

i should stop checking instagram ever so often. (!!!!!!!)

today i made chocolate oat flour pancakes! far better than my 'oat fritters' i made in singapore! that time, i replaced almond milk with coconut milk... it turned out clumpy and the heat was turned up too high such that the coconut oil bubbled and fried the oat batter.

GREASY McSLEAZY TAIWANESE HOTSTAR CHEEKEN WING OR OAT PANCAKES

McD'S BEEF PATTIES OR CHOC OAT PANCAKES W PB AND BANANA COINS

3/4 c almond milk

3/4 c oat flour 

2 tbsp olive oil

1 heaped tbsp cocoa powder

pinch of baking soda 

1 flax egg (1 heaped tbsp flax seeds + 3 tbsp water, set for 5 mins- maybe flax seed meal would be perf)

mix and plop in your preferred oiled pancake pan

✪✪✪