it feels like the only thing i can relate to...... not the beautiful hair bit but just all the stuff that's squished into this thing, the hidden meaning. the message. the thousand words that often comes attached to a picture, like everyone says.
"but i thought if i had some beautiful hair, i could learn to love myself".
this is quite frightening and i feel like i'm risking a bit too, but baring it here is all i can do. clothes don't make you the man, it's what's inside that counts and everyday i just think of how i can ever love anyone else if i don't love myself first and i can't do that i feel i don't even love my family although god tells me to society tells me to the rules tell me to. the tree witch hated the world because she hated herself. and then random stuff like how you do to others what you do unto yourself, or you say to others what you want others to say to you- it's as if what you want or view others runs parallel to who you are as a person. and this struck such a huge chord in me.
it's funny, like how no one can love tree witch but herself. and it's really hard to break out of it once you're actually in it. loving yourself, in the not so very narcissistic way, is everything that a first step should be. i wanna break out make things right ask my mom if she's okay, talk to her, get my family more lunches, sit out with my grandfather more, even if he's having one of his discrete smoking sessions, sit at the table near the kitchen where my grandma eats in solidarity after we all had our weekend dinners, catch up with my cousins and ask about their lives, ask everyone about their lives, ask them how they've been, give my parents more transparency. it's hard wishing and willing god to grant me the strength to mend these broken faded ties and to appreciate who i am again but all the prayers seem to go for nought. like i'm back every week in the same old soddy situation. going to pick away at these scars and magically undergo metamorphosis soon, someday.
and in another segment of this very ep, lies the greatness that is-
princess muscles.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and it's really funny the past year turned out because of this. somewhat nostalgic and frightening because time has once again shown us how fast it can go. i don't even know how we got to know of this but i'm pretty sure lyn + fb class chat + the rest is herstory. x
it's already thursday.
it's already thursday.
it's already thursday.
it's already thursday.
terrible feeling.
but this show makes me kinda happy. like especially now/ cos the june holidays were never meant for enjoyment in jc. can we watch adventure time please people
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