Celebrated YY's birthday ytd and it was nice meeting up, having (somewhat comfortingly bitchy oops) post-final chats. Rly felt nice and nostalgic, like i get the privilege to relive those pockets of happy JC memories w them. That's basically the joy whenever old friends from past lives meet up and talk like we do not age. Actually really lucky for peng yous i have and i've said it so much since 2009 (urppz puberty) i've grown old n wrinkly just counting them but like rebecca v2.0 here really takes it up a notch when she said it this time.
When i was walking to bedok mall i stifled a giggle while thinking of my choice of friends bc i can't believe i'm so lucky *maybe this is happiness at work maybe i'm lucky*
& the cherry on top is that
1. popo thinks and worries abt me being sh1tty noobz in aussie and not being able to cook ginseng chicken soup (defntly a real cause 4 concern), even though she's hurting.
2. i got to buy dinner back for 3/5 of family today. like an almighty caveman hunting prey for his wife and kids except it's me using limbs to travel to bedok mall to get food- mummy entrusted me w a grown up thing to do and i'm appreciative of it
3. my cousin is in need of a speech therapist and ah yee says she'll wait for me to study my course so she can consult me. i think thats a major game changer for me in how i face my academics next year, hopefully my level of speechie-lovin' will skyrocket and take my grades along with it. but wow grades aside, i think to serve or do anything in fact, needs pure passion and dedication. & to those who have it in them, are absolutely remarkable and command a high level of respect.
i didn't have the maturity to recognize this before. i didn't know how hard people worked to get where there are right now- the sacrifices the heartache the turmoil wow it's amazing
and more amazing to think that everyone has it in them to make a difference in the world. theres so much potential in people and it matters so much what you do w it
i didnt have the maturity to recognize this before, bc it was such a big deal for me to stare at my inner demons and fear it. and that precious time wasted could have been used to notice all the great things in life and make it btr yknow??? a little part of me does not regret my stinky past though, bc w/o it i wouldnt have cme to this conclusion
i managed to handle my feelings such that i dont need to eat/exercise to feel better abt myself <- grrrrrrr messed up mind thoughts.
and huzzah for finding absolute gems in the city hall area and having nam nam phö noodles as a centrepiece for a comfy meet up w/ x. furevr appreciatin the sentences we exchange which somehow alw gets me rly excited to travel and see the world (& make it better yet not affect the unique cultural heritage of it) and like it's all really empowering?!?!?! insane to the membrane.
*trudges on imaginary airport runway en route to bkk* i badly wish for 2013 to end with me having btr relations w my fam n it's all on me now to make the change aughhh
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