dare

looking at pink family gathering together for an easter lunch just transports me to another time a -not better- time but more comfortable time. familiar faces in church, prata breakfast at jago close and heading to 930 cat class, sometimes studying after that at marine parade library after having lunch at subway @ parkway parade. birthdays would mean developing 50+ photos at the photo shop down at the basement. i was afraid of so many people, i looked down a lot at myself and i thought everyone hated me. i stuck closer to the ones i was comfortable with and indeed we got through being 15 together with the support and love of each other.

sometimes i still feel like i am fifteen year old reb- daunted by small talk, overthinking the simplest gestures, never really going anywhere in reality yet battling whirlpools of thoughts in my brain!!!!

no not again, not ever again i dont want to have to always be afraid all the time 

this is what being overseas is for, it's the opportunity to do what i love and sticking to what i need to do!!! for one, i'm really trying to go all-out vegan i have all the peppers powders quinoa grains rice cakes and frozen fruit i just want to go through with it 

i dont want to base my happiness upon the actions of others!!!! my happiness is my giving to other people which reminds me i really gotta get some sydney postcards them ulti cheesy ones with the opera house at the front of the card 

dayum instagram and twitter 🙈🙈🙈🙈 i have to get away from you once in a while.......

and essays; i gotta finish you up before i go to melbourne 

today i laid down on my yoga mat..... and did all my speech science preparations!! i had one of my ~most~ productive days ever. other times i'd just be cold and hungry and end up sleeping on the bed spontaneously but no no not when i do work on my yoga mat no

it feels warmmmmmmmm(er) + my furry cat pants. 

❤️ only you can make the best of your days, so by all means do whatever you can to do that ❤️ dont let anything get you down