good luck (pre-nat'ls)

motto for everything forever.

hopefully tomorrow will be a good day for everyone. hopefully we'll finally be realizing that the hypothetical end is near (i love the team because they're more than i ever wanted and i feel like we're friends without being ever so formal and that's good. all in favour of the upcoming season. the jersey's done and the skirts are in and everything is transiently blissful. ever so relieved.)

of course then there are the other things at the back of the mind that are deemed insignificant but are always a bitch and seem to get at me quite often when i'm alone with my thoughts, and sometimes my bed. but meh. all for the season. i can only try to conjure up positive thoughts and have no other expectations except playing a good game, but i'm not so sure. anyway it's quite funny how me and abi aren't really talking to each other because we are on different teams, like i feel quite awkward if i ask her about the state of her team, and her if she asks about mine. we are so formal, it irks me!!!! but i only have good wishes for her, i think things at cedar were rosier, idk. i definitely have no regrets for where i am now. and on the same token, the soccer girls' first match tomorrow and idk why i feel it's significant. they all worked hard. it's the freaking season. it's here. the reason we played for so many months, and our last moment of glory in honour of the school and everyone who fought for us, actually. and sports is amazing in this way, just because it's so universal and everyone can say "i feel you, bro" to every other person. sigh. i just need to hold my breath and not think about anything else but the team and press on until the end.

oh, and the reason. i feel relieved. like all the crying was not in vain. praise god for the prayers answered. things are finally looking up and my heart has been relieved of its numbing burden. finally visited mum today and i had all these bad dreams. but screw that, things are okay. enough to worry. it is and will hopefully all be a bad memory when i think of it in the distant future. and b's been a great help she really has. gaah. okay this post is worth remembering. despite all the other shortcomings, this day is actually meaningfully a happy one.

"age is not an option but maturity is a choice."

IS IT JUST ME OR DOES THIS PICTURE DESERVE SO. MUCH. WIN.??? i'm saving this for future generations, period.