heavenly.

this almost looks like god parting the skies to see us.

the a level results really stirred up some semblance of motivation in me, hopefully i'll take it as an important call to persevere. hopefully everyone does so too. only one can shape his own destiny, right?

the weekends were.. restless. so much thoughts and empty promises and my grandfather fell down and now he wears a sling on his right arm and there are bruises on his face.

but what hurts me the most is that he always has to ask my aunt what happened to him because he cannot remember and during our dinner to celebrate luke and daniel's birthday he lost his balance and fell again.

i hate not being able to show care towards him, i hate not knowing what to do. i hate not knowing how to talk to him and ask him if he's okay. i hate that time has already flipped this chapter to the end page, when i'm still holding on to the first. i hate how old people have to suffer and i know that it's time's fault, it waits for no man and shit, but it's hard to deal with its repercussions sometimes.

i know my grandfather is so damn strong and a tad stubborn because he yearns to be independent, at this age. i just wish he doesn't have to suffer this much. i'm so afraid what comes after this can only be more spiralling downwards, pain and remorse and all. i just pray that it's not so soon. how untimely all these would be.

at least he still remembers who we all are.

i can't give up yet. i admire those who are so focused on what they want. glen is a true inspiration, he kinda has always been, but the results further drive in the point.

we're all so tired, but let's press on. 

"Remember, if you're not playing your heart out, someone else is. And when you meet him, he will win."