but yeah anyway i carried canned goods in my bag the whole time. talked a whole lot during everything with fries about horrible bosses jk. and ate a helluva good meal which is scary because it's sinful
thank goodness bugis st was still lively on a friday night and it feels really adventurous to spend thy own ca$h.
prior to this, the yfas got to leave early for half day chinese new year celebrations which was handsdown my favourite one so far these few years, save for the ones in cedar. freedom to go around with the kids and chat to them without the pressing fear and reluctance. and really nice teachers who share experiences with me. and the class party with actual snack foods and a video screening. and genuine interest in the lion dance which wasn't a dazzlingly spectacular one with somersaults, backflips and what nots but still made everyone excited anyways. then hweems' birthday celebration which was a success thx to my crying voice and ivy's concernish conversation after i stepped out the toilet. + the glue which held everything together thx to qiu xuan's resources and huiling's mega effective note-taking
today i made hweems a coupla pancakes while the kitchen was undergoing spring cleaning, soooooo it was tough but thank goodness for mum and her truly effective troubleshooting advice to adjust the heat to level 2 which made everything go smoothly and pancake-flipping was possible. so i guess you can count me in for any pancake-making business!!! but anws happy 19th; it's been a different two months of 5 am days and thrilling adventures!
thursday was onite 2013. went to the dentists' (wisdom is such a bane)
and the highlight was dinner at pizza hut..... (ok this junk is prohibited from this day forth) nice talking to shaz, nic how, loks, ryan, abi, huihui, liz, shawn and ofc the new chinese teacher yy!! was pleasantly surprised at that news and still am. and nic the beng/ dyed his hair and everything woop woop.
talked about enlistments, kamatchi/shaz similarities, stuff kids talk about
one of those comforting dinners. the dude/ttes who have survived the same pit of green moss as i, finally escaping and leading different lives. it's intimidating to think how different we will be in a decades' time.
idk why but these few days/weeks..... the bingeing need is quite terrifying what is happening.
'who are you trying to impress?' this was of another person but it was so so so relatable to me becuz almost all the time, i've acted as if i'm trying to impress someone- some invisible person. like trying to flaunt or make life seem porcelain perfect when in fact it's not so. it's like being stuck in the dryer and vigorously spun around repeatedly. i get extremely worked up about the imperfect life, doing nothing, getting disgusted at myself--------- it just happens. i think it's just an inner demon that takes a lot of effort to remove completely. i hate aligning my self worth with what happens on social networks, but it's so natural and wrong..?
if this is what post a entails then i do hope it ends soon. or at least this despicable mindset!!!
"jealousy means wasting the person you are" because you're trying to be someone you are not
(something i need to contemplate about)
Miss you glad you had an amazing break. :>
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