walls.

emotionally taxing day for me i slept for the entire late afternoon hence accomplishing just about- nothing. went to my popos house bc she is recently discharged from hosp after suffering a bad fall. i was supposed to help them boil rice but ended up having their catered lunch tgt w them :'))))) bc popo divided the rice into three parts but i gave most of my rice to her in the end. initially i was afraid i wouldn't do a good job boiling rice / caring for them but i realized if you love someone you must not hesitate one second to put love into action. it's a flaw of mine to craft a perfect gesture in my mind but it never ends up perfect so it never gets done. anws that part was okey and nice and i never got to have lunch w just my grandparents alone so it was worth it. helped to prepare the angpows for cny and was going to leave the house when the intense moment happened and kong kong insisted i do not lock the gate bc he was there but he has dementia and i waved goodbye to him from a distance but i couldnt leave him bc he often goes out and it's dangerous as heck and i had to follow him to the coffee shop n ignore the stares of the coffeeshop uncles around me bc i think i looked pretty suspicious n out of place just standing there n looking at kong kong from afar
anw this went on for a few n then i told my mom n she called to say i should get him back but i felt rly sad and it seemed like an extremely difficult task. it took a lot out of me to go up to him and ask him to go back to popos house with me. his coffee cup was half filled and i sat beside him for a while bfr he said his coffee was too sweet. we walked back and he asked me about my university. i'm thankful that he still remembers me *and my estimated age*
idk it just feels really sad that there comes a time when the functions of a human just degenerate and chew away the person that you once were. there will be a time when you cannot care for others anymore, you can only rely on others' care for you. it's so sad. i'm sure he didn't remember that i was supposed to go off half an hour ago n that i was circling the coffee shop desperately trying not to be seen by him.