(Re)collecting memories. Really, remembering the past isn't good for emotional health. Maybe this is me; waiting for things to happen, like in the Chinese idiom about the rabbit falling in front of the lepaking hunter. Like um, things at first coincidentally worked well for you and you become happy. Then as time wears on, you depend too much on fate to help you put things into place that you don't rely on yourself on maintaining things as they are, as a result you get so mad at yourself you hole yourself up. You're so afraid of hurting your self pride that you build a fortress around your heart so that entry is refused for anyone who tries. And the fact of life is that sometimes, people will live their life so it sucks if you're not in it as much as you yourself want it to be.
As we live, the past events get increasingly tenuous as more important things start to come in. But why did I choose to feel to put this in my highest regard? I'll probably regret doing so. I (had to) look through our entire Facebook conversation, because the worst thing that happened was I actually dreamt of stuffs last night.
I hope that soon I will just forget this ever happened. Or maybe start on a new page.
I don't want to go back to nostalgia to cherish the moments. Maybe I should lay off writing in the paper diary as a reminder to myself to make more happy times as opposed to reveling in the past.
Come post As, I will not stay cooped up at home
I will make my life worthwhile
I will find something better to do
I will impact people's lives
I will buy many things
I will shop at Q00 Market
I will attend fashion buffets because they seem very worth it
I will lay off Twitter (crossing my fingers ✌ and my heart ❤)
I will not degrade my r/s with my family any longer this is rly stupid and pathetic why did I even want to do this to myself I rly miss talking to my cousinssss and now it's just shet awkward forever plus now my baby cousins are at the peak of cuteness (age 3-5) and As made it feel like crap for me I feel bad if I ever leave the house because idk this is my mentality so I'm and was basically being a hermit in my abode, many a times under my blanket. Yes I'm blaming my life's problems on a few stupid national examination papers what more later in life in uni and in the working world. And poopdeck. I don't even feel like I've made any great strides in my progress to achieving good grades like I should have. Ajdjsjakalwj
Here is my silent revolution (it has been silently happening). From now onwards I will stave off the wooden block of awkward and all things detrimental to my human relationships with others, stop hating on others, stop being ever so spiteful because it's annoying, run everyday (I demolished 3 pancakes with caramelized banana, strawberries and syrup while being awkward at the same time at Baci just now fml- and demolished is the exact word my Godma used heh)
Fff I do not care this life will not suck anymore than it already has. Please God let it be so.
If anyone has got any radical resolutions then let's achieve it tgt and ASAP!!
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