Friday, January 25, 2013

You're fired

Thankfully these few days / weeks have passed by such that I worry more about my students than anything else. I can finally wake up with a lighter heart and not dread stepping into bishan int at exactly 6.45. I would rather this than anything else right now
Today I learnt of a slightly disappointing nugget of info; social status is ubiquitous wherever there are human beings and it happens no matter how many days have passed on this earth. I didn't know the class would deliberately taunt Boy A, saying things that are not directly hurtful, but chanting things that would make him personally upset. I know I have in my possession the authority to stop this, but the ironic thing is that the others are perfect model students in class, and just so happens that Boy A is the opposite of that. He can't help himself
I was having my dried and wrinkly food when Boy A sat beside me and said he wanted to 'fire' Boy B from being a friend because B didn't show his drawings to A. He said it with anger and hatred at first, his voice reflected the pent up frustrations in the depths of his heart and I understood. I didn't take it seriously because I had a feeling this was merely a phase of his and it would pass.
Then he punched his fists against the table and buried his face in his arms, exclaiming some words I couldn't pick out. He teared and said he was lonely because nobody wanted to sit with him and that really shattered me.
I think I had the old immature way of thinking, but it didn't strike me at all that someone whom I've never seen having a close group of friends would lament that they were lonely and needed somebody to be there for them. I told him I was there with him, sitting with him now. And before his eyes could lose it's shine from the tears, he said he was going to sit with Boy C, a random classmate who had been sitting alone at another table.
My class kids still intrigue me w their idiosyncrasies. Every one of them is just so vastly different in their personality and mannerisms. I cannot channel anger at them if they're not focusing in class because they won't pull up their socks and resolve to work harder next time. And a little part of me withers when I try to strike up a conversation w them but they don't give off the same level of enthusiasm as I, etc. I shouldn't feel that way. Always making the same mental note; don't be inflamed w emotions with Sandalwood.
I love all of them in my class, regrettably some more than others. I talk to the naughtier, more restless ones more because of the copious amounts of prompting that happen within the classroom and I must say they really make my day there a whole lot more challenging yet wholesome.
Back to the topic; I've tried reassuring Boy A to tell me if the others are bullying him again or making him uncomfortable and that I'd do something about it. But my words fall on uninterested ears once again.

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