\burn burn burn burn burn burn/

it always takes me a day of doing absolutely nothing (but watch youtube vids of jimmy fallon and his ridic sketches and the telly tuned to e!) to help me get back on track. the morn/afternoon was a mind-cloudy bitch (idek what it means tbh)--- i didn't make rational decisions/ proper planning.
the evening was fine. celebrated godma and gabriel's birthday and got to see family after two weeks of not being able to do so. it was homey and nice as always. the cake cutting tradition is always the best part i mean i think we have the most normal/memorable cake-cutting-sessions.......
nate plants his tiny bottom next to the birthday celebrants and sings rly adorably (chinese ver included) while we all just watch and clap along
he tries to blow the candles
iain emerges from the back to blow it for him

and today at my godma's house this image of all of us being homey is a picture perfect memory bc everybody was there and it's surreal like what if what if (there's alw this what if to things) this moment ceases to exist again
-the moment was really perfect- i mean isn't this what it means to be a family.
popo is rly excited i think for my going overseas and she'll tell me about the aussie exchange rates whenever i see her/ smth related to my future and i so greatly yearn to learn from she who cooks the best childhood meals that i've ever tasted. but she has a full head of silver hair and what a great symbol it is, a remnant of time passed, her contributions sacrifices and youth all behind her she has lived it all and here's where we are now in 2013. and kong kong's terrifying fall today and all the aunties and dad had to help him get to his feet with kong kong's constant assurance of his independence in the background
it's hard to stomach and sucks to know i can't do anything to stop thisss?!?!!!
it wasn't easy to help him up because old people are so so so fragile and their joints are so stressed out. which brings me to the important side fact that
healthcare is essential bc it involves everyone's part and what the scholarship people discussed, on it being a multi-disciplinary team rings true and has proved its relevance to me with today's happenings. i'm glad that my gparents have us around and we fortunately are healthy and capable.

also managed to squeeze in an hour's worth of running which was satisfying. thanks to the blanket of darkness i could give myself a good talking down bc i was honestly in the shittiest of doldrums today. i literally just talked it out and it worked. smth as silly-looking worked
i'm more elated than embarrassed.
running works running works running works for me
can't i just keep this up and have control of myself my life and what i do with it????

did i type it in here that i failed my driving test although it was smth i was actually confident in?? ha ha of all things. really felt i could have passed. i didn't run the amber light i swear!!!!!!!! that cost me -8 while my parkings were
unkerbably miraculously okay. sighpewdiepie;
lucky for that burger dinner with claire after that
a deserving treat for the license-less girls........ but i'm happy and if i were to be politically correct,
this can only be a learning experience and i truly believe i'm almost there. just fingers crossed and believe like a bieber.