there's that feeling you once knew

Maybe I'm constantly hurting myself by placing expectations over reality and reality is just too, too low. Feeling like a wreck because things might not have been so bad after all, if it weren't for my over thinking. I could've focused on so much more productive things than to be stuck in this vicious cycle of my thoughts. Blame it all on pride I will. And these few weeks have just been kind of enlightening for me. How I see things, see everything. It has made me a happier person, like how stuff can be solved if only I tried a lil harder, so okay, things will be okay if I try. And today's whole confession thing makes me feel like I've been in this reality tv show where we didn't know anything about this class, until today. Still cannot get over the mindblowing facts, and stuff just reminded me of the first CG bonding we ever had and how the years have alr flown past. I will really miss CG16 and not trying to be overly sentimental but just like how we all graduate from the comforts of secondary school we must also do the same for JC. This class has been one I always wanted, where people treat friends like friends and not see themselves as the most impt and those who dare to be crazy once in a while and not be overly conscious about losing their reputation. We do weird stuff everyday and disgust each other knowing at the end of the day, we still luv each other for what we've got, and w all our magnanimous hearts. And maybe 4M hasn't really brought me that *amazeballs* (insert glitter and neon lights here) experience. Things get so comfortable here I don't think I ever want to leave.
We had Astons after ending at 12:30 and went to sing after that. Glad I met the boob and we went to church where I saw familiar faces again oh my. Haha I really miss the familiarity there too. A levels is really taking a lot out of me. I just have to do my best then get everything sorted into my life again, please be kind God. I just felt my emotions have been set straight at sea ave, haha, or maybe they kind of tumbled off track and made me tired. Idk. Idk. Idk.
Edit/ sheets I know why I alw fail econs essays alr. I realised I hold on to new trains of thoughts and develop them real easy haha dayum. So my mind is a long squiggly line when it's supposed to be a ruler-straight one >:/