this happened ystd

 

a birthday visit to nus for hazel n jolene yup brought along the miso paste and sweet smelling perfume + pokemon to accompany me in the train rides

it was sweet i m glad i got a chance to speak n laugh w the uni go-ers again all of them forever busy as bees. they got me over for pasta and the pasta was good al dente haw haw *french laughter*

plus i had no work today so the happy vibes remain!!!!

urm so like yea hazel has become all intimidating ever since she came to eusoff evidence #1 HAHAHAH it's btw an actual knife. sharpened further by a coconut husk.

absolutely miss this stuff i put this on every biscuit surface i see.

got my gellish for the first time!!!

 

gellish. it's such an irksome name but yay for yielding a pretty pretty result ^3^

after it was done abi assured me that nothing will cause it to scratch "not even building houses in cambodia" will cause a single chip. and the first time feel of smooth mighty durable nails makes you just wna touch your nails a lot idk. haha this beats express manis by a mile.

if you want to see change you have to act out the change

it comes from within << easy to say but hard to do. always a work in progress.

today's life came out spontaneous unlike the other days. eg; i gotten round to watching glee s5e3 the tribute to cory monteith extremely heart wrenching yet beautiful how beautifully the show was scripted. i love how the writers weave in the story of finn's quarterback jacket being the object of desire by his friends and everyone wanting a piece of finn after his passing and it was mr schue who had the jacket all along he took it for himself and it was just really sad..
^ watched that w rugaiyah and
me: ok i'm going to get tissues, do you need?
r: yes.
haw haw and I didn't think she'd be one to cry over this bc she seemed fine watching it

i downloaded pokemon emerald and fml it is addictive to the ulti max okay i totally regret playing it from 8 pm to 4.50 am
(this rly happened)
i'm so not one to get this crazy but i think once i start smth i like i can't stop... tbh i don't even know how i'd gotten round to stop playing.... idk i think pokemon is so so so nostalgic even the newer versions like emerald have some hints of the original plot like how the first gym leaders are always rock-types and bicycles only come around later in the game and there's alw that one jealous rival from the town u r from- pokenerds u feel me????
it takes me back to the sweeter days of aaron and i being an invincible team getting our fav pokemon up to level 80 somethings to beat the elite four and gary the rival, getting the best combination for battle, trading eevees so we could have the three evolution forms, battling over the game boy adapter via double pokemon battles

i think pokemon is sooooooper awesome but not exactly the change i'd favour right now in my life although it rly does tie closely w one compartment of good childhood memories.

i should try morning runs i think mornings are less terrifying than nights

tuna sandwich + veg wooopieeee

evelyn's constant breakfast choice in adelaide has inspired this ^my kind of overnight oats^

reb get it together man 21k in a few weeks time only!!!! tensefully excited.

• been working for 4x this week (my record so far bc i never work so much at the clinic bfr haaaha....)
• did yoga w the mom ytd night which is good, got to breathe a lot better and feel the movements in a cool yoga manner (i'm such a yoga noob hahha the only yog i know is yogurt)
• looking forward to professionalizing more of my meals bc it makes me feel more positive for the changes i'm making w my life!!! and also the iphone is down so the dslr's the only way to glam up food shots.
• never discount happy moments in your life. sometimes you just deserve to be happy. in fact i think it lifts your spirits up and opens you up to more happy moments!! 

in | out

followed a recipe from funeralformyfat another inspirational fitblr and did
CHIASEED FRENCH TOAST anti egg edition starring
● cinnamon
● squished half banana
● organic rice milk
● chia seeds in water which turns into a gelly like texture

soo dyin to try out uberhealthy recipes and despite the slight rush of time i managed to pop some into the oven bfr i went off to work
(I HAVENT QUIT DESPITE SAYING I WUD HAHA idek when i'd stop but i think i rly need the moolah n yet i need to train eeeeep.)
inner turmoils aside, yea not beatin urself too much about food makes eatin a more positive activity n i rly think it'd help me live a life more sustainable. feeling positive

can best friends pls not be born on consecutive days hahahahahaha constant source of stress lah ♡♡♡

lol ps: u wonder how my toasties turned out lol
lol one big soggy mess w crispy crust saved by cinnamon powder and raisins and crunchy pb lol

coolio saturday~

one sentence summary ok: watched cutie patootie cousins x 2 's perforkances at st stevens today one of them graduating and he did some shimmy limbo thing while my nursery boy had stage fright during his bollywood perf ha ha the parent audience lapped up like it's an imptthing but then again when do u get to see ur child doing dances w his chubby 4-6 y/o limbs
did a 1000 cal workout ytd by fitness blender n rly its a killer one i used my anat textbook as a weight n strength train haaaa but the bsst was the kickboxing n boyi wish u saw me --- or not, bc i was half spasmodically flailing my limbs about in an attempt to defend myself from my imaginary opponent n half being out of breath
i am sore this is my first youtube workout i was actually sore all over gah

highly recommended for every reader ♡●♡●♡

to not binge is to not binge like literally you cant tell urself uve eaten too much bc then youll be in this vicious cycle of depression/starvation and for me i'd wna eat eat eat more during depression mode so yeah
getting my shit together bc im the only one that can help myself if i dont nobody will im just gg to take deep breaths,
realize that im not hungry probably just need to find smth to do
go pee/drink some wataaa or herbal tea
not choose processed bc
♥♥♥ happy taste buds r not worth sad livers ♥♥♥
lol

the museum curators are nice & friendly

bc describing food sounds soopah sophisticated:

12$ burger set meal + 0.5$ peppermint tea

lamb shoulder, beets, greens, some cool yogurt curdy concoction but the whole package was rly good.

and the fries are your favourite kind (i'm just assuming it's a unanimous agreement that fries which r crisp on the outside and soft and potatoe-y on the inside are da b-omb.)

food for thought never fails team monkeyoats!!!

feels lots better after my previous post

jillian michaels b preachin yo

it's official!- signed up for yoga classes with my momma starting 22 october at the local community centre (sigs cc)
did one and a half hours of blogilates feeling nauseous why why why always this but it was better than nothing!!! i think it's the subtle changes that i feel within my body that makes me ever more motivated
my mom complains i've mounds of clothes in my closet and hanging on my door already (true), but i've got to have more!!!! clothes that I feel okay in and that which are not necessarily on the cheap sale rack. need to get clothes.
lolling about, mourning the death of my iphone. best is that i didn't back up anything bfr bc i didn't see the need to (now i dO!) good thing my photos are backed up one way or another and i email my important friends whatsapp chats to myself. (!!!!!)

wow fact: perception of food is extremely important; it either steers you to or away from your goal. all through this year, i've had an unhealthy relationship w food, with all the insecurity overeating at night time during the pathlight days (no correlation with pl though) (some correlation w stress related to jogging decisions), the scary times i'm home alone and faced w all the food around the house tempting/ taunting me and it's a strong impulsion to gobble it all down and most of the times i do. the more i think i need to eat healthy, the more i want to eat unhealthy bc i feel my previous decisions to eat healthy have given me an excuse to eat unhealthy (?). thoughts have truly exacerbated this whole situation rly. ok but recently i've found out a way to change this-
changing perception of food. celebrating the (sinfully) good stuff, yet making the change to eat healthy for the rest of your meals. my dad bought this awesome chocolate cake from cedele ytd and i'm excited to describe it bc it rox my sox ttm:
chocolate cream with a hint of expresso flavour hiding the chocolate sponge cake, with banana in the middle and the best part is sugared oats at the top with walnut!!!! the oats r out of this world coz they ain't the regular oatmeal kinds, but whole pieces of round oats... and sweetened...
so yeah there's a huge cake box in my fridge right now and half of it is gone in one day. *stored in the tums n muffintops of the loh clan*
cake is celebration and so should having to eat cake. that should also be a celebration and not bring about guilty thoughts afterwards.
i also had lots of chocolate today but no shame no shame i tell myself bc i brought this upon myself and choc is supposed to mean happy things. soooo00000ooo happy right now
:D :D :D :D :D :D

my phone rly died hence haven't ran for 3 days, going to run tmr to see the sun again. fufzx it's fifteen oct tmrw so i should rly try a 15k!!! and w/o my nike app too so it's goig to be hard to estimate but owell /stay happy and healthy world/

not gna b royal

hey xy if youre reading this, i wanna wish you a sooper happy birthday bc i haven't seen you in a while and youre one of my closest friends and you deserve better
thanks for everything you've done for me circa COALs and being quarter mistresses > studying for chinese > a levels & best ramen at iluma.

these two days = birthdays of close friends and in my mind it wasn't supposed to be this way but the unspecial plan happened and I thought I should type out the reasons and other things, here. it was what brought me to switch on the mini lamp and my computer when i'm supposed to be sleeping. a lot of stuffs behind this, so pls:

wheatgrassed

today's wheatgrass made me nauseous for the entire day!!! well now I know what to abstain from. or maybe thinking of giving it another try bc it's a detoxing thing. so nauseating might be a good thing? didn't run as a result but it's ok we must forgive our bodies once in a while...
the event that shook my world is dropping my iphone into my toilet hahahaha like
i knew it was impending doom JUST KNEW IT!!! alw bring my phone into the toilet ok don't judge it's a good item to pass time.
it's in a plastic bag filled with rice but it didn't manage to work today, so i will try tomorrow.

anw today is the birthday of my special friend-------
deonn!!!!!
currently having a v busy birthday, but thank you for being in my life and thank goodness we still keep in touch from since our og days bc you're a super cool and positive person to be around and I think everybody should know that!!! amazing positive energy and vibes and i cant wait to hang w you soon. I always like to think that you truly deserve to be where you are right now, getting a bachelors at laselle like it sounds so unconventional and awesome!!!

and today is also my uncle's birthday so we had a decadent dinner and the nicest pork + cartilage and duck skins. homely asian meal around the circular table at a beautiful restaurant.

the beach is a 5c4ry kind of g00d.

 

hello,

missed this space a lot, haven't been round here much, but

i think life so far has been swell. keeping positive really works wonders.

time 11.35 pm

i think the two minute anti-procrastination trick is holding up for me pretty well. and
ever since I've started thinking happier, things just fall into place much easier, I mean:

• if you look at it the positive way, i've been able to eat something sinful and not beat myself up about it vis a vis feeling like crap and stressing out over it and hence leading to more bingeing tendencies.
• i think the way we eat really reflects how we are as a person. the more you love yourself, the more you want to fuel yourself w/ the good stuff, the more the bad stuff appeals less and less for you- been seeing this all over fitblrs and I've finally seen the light too!!! (though this i've got to work on)
• but giving myself some slack has done good things for me. in fact, i dare say I've been eating better and it's definitely looking to be a good way of life for the future.
• while i was on my run, thinking about the future (ie when should i bathe when i return/ should i have more food to eat/ what can i blog about) makes me stressed up and slowed down my pace while focusing on my breathing and the goal definitely made the time pass faster. the distance also seemed shorter!! rly hoping for the 15km run by 15th oct goal to be a reality.
• i don't rly dig the underground tunnel to the beach bc it has a dreary haunted vibe to it and I feel claustrophobic in there but --- the beach!!!!!! fresh air, the wind, the clearly demarcated paths for cyclists and joggers..... definitely worth it guys. 
• p.s i was also afraid of kidnappers hiding out behind the secluded trees / somali pirates who arrive here by boat n do stuff but --- the beach.
• also cannot be more grateful to blogilates. a few months back I sucked and was in a srsly pathetic state my knees were wobbly during those thigh lifts, I paused the videos to roll around and cry a bit at this hard-core intensity, when she eight more I did four...... and now it's an accomplish I must recognize bc it's finally here, determination delivered to my doorstep. finding comfort in the discomfort. the focusing on the breathing and posture.

this post is a lot more than the two-minute rule,
but if I ever falter when i'm away, i think this is the post i want to rmb so that i can get back on my feet and still feel ok w it.

tl;dr-
it's a happy journey!!!!
i should never be too hard on myself- let minor slips happen bc life is too short to go into another bingeing episode
celebrate and cherish achievements bc no one else can do it for you
do things one at a time. think about things one at a time.

plop plop thoughts

think about it. your future self won't think back on the excuses you used for yourself, rather what you have done with your life. life cannot be just built on excuses like

"maybe i'll run later" *proceeds to not running*

"maybe i'll eat healthy"

*proceeds to making a homemade concoction of brownies and ice cream*- guys the biggest joke is that i did a 12k and also, the brownies thing. but nope i won't beat myself over it. i'm drinking more water now though. and um, yeah 

got my plan set out for today. developing some photos and possibly buying one roll of films to use.

right now i'm going to sleep u_u

the 2 minute rule

going to incorporate it into my daily life now. simple tasks like washing bowls and not leaving it in the sink, clearing the drain holes, making tea, rolling out the yoga mat for a self-promised yoga session- i hesitate to do them and often end up putting it off
which leaves me stressed out
then i'd have to find another appropriate time to do it.

the point is if you can do it within two minutes, just do it now &
the feeling of relief of not procrastinating on it makes life seem a little bit better.

also downloaded 'lift' which makes keeping to habits a whole lot easier ☺

really happy w my find on the app store; hope it can keep my life on track and stress-free 

just a lot of pent up things

but hey what can go wrong w a mom who loves you just thr way you re right i mean.
so happy that abi tried out insanty workout n pardon the misspellings using the tab~ ⊙¤⊙
btw i happen to ttly swear on blogilates. whenever days go bad, rolling out my mat for blogilates does the trick. even when i ate 16 squarss of white chocolate for breakfast today n kinder bueno. no shame in admitting fine i put this on myself
ikr wtfsssss just screwing up the no-dairy deal just frustrates me but prior to this chocolate seems like the only soltn to soothe my ravaged soul and i was upset about ytd n my meal plan took a slight stumble

run: aim to hit 16 by mid oct. i choose to believe that it is possible. 21k will be possible
i will be strong abt this and not stressed neither will i break down abt eating heathly bc that mentality is for chumps. i will hold my ground n do what js best for myself and also read my anat books briefly. u_u

children's day at pathlight.

(wasnt able to sit w my class)

campus 1 is totally decked up for the 10th year anniversary- the kids don't know it, but they are so fortunate to be studying in that wonderful school where all the amenities are close to pristine. the façade of sacps was a tiny rough pebble compared to the sculpted stone that is pl.
loved seeing sandalwood and i always love their warmth they exude whenever i see them. so happy that psle is but a thing of the past and they'll be moving up because they are the most capable bunch i know.
did balloon sculpting which is my secret fear just like ms sara's. and i burst a balloon while trying to squeak it into shape. i didn't know who was more terrified; the kids or i.

ericca brought home apple crumble which tastes amazeballs. brought me back to my home econs days + another project to look fwd too

today idk- i felt kind of defeated..... like i've never rly felt this excruciating emotional weariness
no words.
all this is going to be
but a thing of the past too. and what matters is right now
nth should be anchoring me to the depths of dark things.
suppression sucks and i
didn't manage a run today/ i will take that in stride.

-mid week happy-

 

someone ^ got her new instax

met long-time friend since pubescent timez: chen xy abigail, at
antoinette located at
30 penhas road, off lavender mrt station.
i got lost and was late so abi had to walk around ntuc.
really glad she's doing more than fine and being comfortable at where she is right now in life. a prime example of rocketing out from the dense lifeless undergrowth aka tj into glory and success.

ok the metaphor was dumb...... but yes.
we visited a gem of hidden outlet treasures; anchorpoint!!! this is top secret guys srsly. i was silently rejoicing at the amount of outlet shops there are in that seemingly lifeless place.

our hours were spent soaking up marvellous discounted items from typo. and then a comforting ikea meal of hotdogs ice-cream and tea.

was pleasantly surprised w/ these eye-catching sweets and japanese goodies blows my socks off anytime. thankew abs.

beyond this lies some running progress.