Dad's off again to Trinidad and Tobago for a week. A week but with all the Earth's rocking instability and crumbliness, I'm afraid.
I lag greatly in homework and I can be a stressed up sh1t of fur ball but it's far worse than that. It's myself. Myself and the inner demons and second thoughts.
Thinking, I wasn't meant to be there. Thinking, this is unjustifiable, it's not right. I wish I knew better. I really have got to work hard for the team. And the Tennis team too, which I have been neglecting a lot these few days. Sinhui has already grown tanner without me training at Waterfront.
Didn't get to be tanned today. I love you so very much as a friend, I really do. But it's so hard, I keep trying and I keep falling, there's nothing, really, much to say or do. I don't know what to do.
I give up, kill me please. I need to go back to retain my inner sanity. It's tough being perfect. I can't be myself anymore.
There are so many secrets that I'd want to keep. So many that I'd want you to know. If only.
Got to go deep-sea soul searching. I'm too imperfect for perfection.
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